Quotations 101

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
She saved the world. A lot.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 101
» Spoiler Warning: details on this page could spoil any surprise(s) in the story if you have not seen this complete TV series.

"In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer." Buffy Summers knows this tale by heart, and no matter how hard she tries to be just a "normal girl", she cannot escape from her destiny. Thankfully, she is not alone in her quest to save the world, as she has the help of her friends, the hilarious (and surprisingly quite effective) evil-fighting team called "The Scooby Gang". Together, Buffy and company will slay their demons, survive one apocalypse after another, attend high school and college, and above all, understand that growing up can truly be Hell... sometimes literally.

» See our BtVS/Angel fan site - Laugh Lines, Love Lines - for more show facts and fun.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Recap and Review
What makes it so notable? clever dialogue, strong characters, a stellar cast
What are its weak points? Their propensity for killing off beloved characters may have made great writing, but it sure was painful for the viewer.
Verdict: Casual Fan or Big-Time Fangirl? former Big-Time Fangirl, now Casual Fan
Comments: I became interested in BtVS after reading episode reviews and summaries on the Internet. I was intrigued, but I feared the show was too dark for my tastes. Then I read some quotes at another website, and they made the show seem way more funny than dark. I decided to give it a try. I didn't regret it for a moment because, as the fans know, it's truly one of the best shows to ever grace television.

- Quotes -
The good, the bad, the sad, the funny: the things we wish we'd thought to say first.

Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
A New Man

Buffy: What are you doing here. Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk . . . Bitch.
No Place Like Home

Gachnar: I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
Willow: He... he's so cute!
Gachnar: Tremble!
Xander: Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No. It's just... tacky.
Fear, Itself

Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
Tabula Rasa

Xander: And where'd you get that accent? Sesame Street? Vun, two, three -- three victims. Mwa ha ha!
Buffy Vs. Dracula

Buffy: I've been looking for you.
Faith: I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard you look?
This Year's Girl

Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.
Cordelia: I stand corrected.
Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.
Graduation Day, Part 2

Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.
Reptile Boy

Giles: How did you get in?
Spike: The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in.
Buffy: Or someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying.
New Moon Rising

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am *deeply* shamed.
Something Blue

Angel: What's happening?
Buffy: Shh. Don't worry about it. I love you.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: Close your eyes.
Becoming, Part 2

Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
When She Was Bad

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.
Bad Girls

Giles: Damn it, man, we have to get inside! Our, um, uh... our families are in there! Our, um, mothers, and tiny, tiny babies!
Who Are You?

Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
Becoming, Part 1

Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'.
Angel: Buffy...
Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.

Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
School Hard

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.

Buffy: You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it.
Giles: I did! I said there could be dire consequences.
Buffy: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.

Spike: Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, eh?
Giles: Yes. Thank you. Although your heroism is slightly muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all.
Xander: You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here.
Spike: Well, yeah. Did it work?

Spike: Bloody hell, woman. You're cutting off my circulation.
Buffy: You don't have any circulation.
Spike: Well, it pinches.

Giles: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.
Spike: Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the Wheat-a-Bix in the blood. Give it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.

Angel: Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.
Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.
Angel: Oh, a thing. A date?
Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Spike: You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his resume, you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again.
The Yoko Factor

Buffy: How did you find me here?
Angel: If I was blind, I would see you.

Angel: Be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly, I'm dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: I'm a funny guy.

Buffy: The Cliff Notes version? I want a normal life. Like I had before.
Angel: Before me.
Buffy: No, Angel, it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Buffy: Why is he even here? It's not like he can fight.
Willow: If we leave him alone, he'll stake himself.
Buffy: And that's bad because...?

Buffy: Willow, you're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?

Willow (trying to pass as a vampire): I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!

Willow: I knew it! I knew it! Well, not "knew it" in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.

Harmony (to Spike): I am powerful and beautiful and I don't need you to complete me. And you're mean!

Riley: I thought we had plans today.
Buffy: Plans? We planned plans?
Riley: Well, you said, "Come over tomorrow and we'll hang," and then I said, "Okay." Not the invasion of Normandy, but still a plan.

Buffy: How bored *were* you last year?
Giles: I watched "Passions" with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

Buffy: Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called helping.
Giles: Well, I saw myself in more of a patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling.

Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.

- Lessons Learned -
What can we learn from this series?

* You can't trust guys.
* Sometimes you can't trust girls either.
* On an English make-up exam, you don't get credit for speaking it.
* Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead.
* Live in the now.
* It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.
* 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things. Bad things.
* No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms.
* Punishing yourself is pointless.
* If you lurk, you can learn things.
* It's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old girl to unplug her phone.
* If dropping hints doesn't work, drop anvils.
* The mystery that is men goes something like this: they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want.
* Tact is just not saying stuff that's true.
* There's no use arguing with someone wearing her Resolve Face.
* Playing with pointy sticks is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.
* Being wanted for murder is such a drag.
* Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good.
* You wanna talk fun? Public bus. You meet the funnest people.
* Competition is a beautiful thing. It makes us strive. It makes us accomplish.

- Favorite Scenes -
Also known as "moments"

In the largely silent episode Hush, with no voice, Giles resorts to drawing that Buffy should kill the demons. Also unable to speak, Buffy uses gestures to express her anger at the size of the hips on the Buffy that Giles drew.

I loved the scene in Once More with Feeling where Buffy sings "I know this isn't real, but I just want to feel..." before she kisses Spike. It's evident that her desperation to feel something - anything - is overwhelming her, so she reaches out to Spike against her better judgment.

Later, Buffy and Spike have an ongoing fling. After one such encounter, Spike (who is truly smitten) starts to suspect that she's just using him. Dropping his normal unfeeling demeanor, he sincerely asks, "Do you even like me?" Trying to be kind and yet honest, she replies, "Sometimes..."

In Tabula Rasa, Willow's spell goes awry and the gang loses their memory. When a demon attacks, Buffy's instincts take over, and she fights him and wins. Then her jaw drops in surprise over what she just did. She gasps, "I'm like a superhero, or something!"

- Afterthoughts -
Miscellaneous material

Credit: the description is from the IMDb, with some editing by me. Screencaps used in the banner are from the now-closed site Like a Superhero or Something. Quotes are from the quotes poll results at Angel's Secrets.

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