Quotations 101

The Mummy
I want my mummy!

The Mummy 101
» Spoiler Warning: details on this page could spoil any surprise(s) in the story if you have not seen these movies.

The Mummy (1999). In 1923, adventurer Rick O'Connell leads Egyptologist Evelyn and her brother Jonathan to the mysterious city of Hamunaptra. Unfortunately, they and a rivaling group of careless American adventurers free the mummy from his eternal prison. Now, with the ancient and quite agile high priest on the loose, the adventurers and scientists face not only a dangerous enemy, but also a massive threat to today's world.

The Mummy Returns (2001). It's ten years later: Imhotep is back and so is his prehistoric girlfriend. Now Rick, Evie, and their son must help the old gang save the world from the Mummy and from a new threat, the Scorpion King.

This movie franchise also includes another sequel, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), and a spin-off, The Scorpion King (2002). In 2010, yet another sequel, The Mummy 4: Rise of the Aztec, was supposedly in the works, but as of this writing (mid-2012), IMDB.com has no information about it.

The Mummy movie series: Recap and Review
What makes it so notable? The Mummy is just what it sets out to be: an entertaining tale with a little horror, a little romance, humor, and a lot of adventure.
What are its weak points? The Mummy Returns became a bit convoluted with the past life stuff. Also, any sequel without the chemistry of both Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz isn't worth seeing, in my book.
Verdict: Casual Fan or Big-Time Fangirl? Casual Fan
Comments: My friend Michele suggested The Mummy and its sequel because of the guy that portrays the mummy. I watched them both, and - oh my! - what a lovely feast for the eyes! Plus, I found the movies very enjoyable as well, funny and not unwatchably scary as I'd feared.

- Quotes -
The good, the bad, the sad, the funny: the things we wish we'd thought to say first.

[From The Mummy]

Jonathan: Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich?
Evelyn: He was the last Pharaoh of the Old Kingdom, said to be the wealthiest Pharaoh of them all.
Jonathan: Alright, good, that's good. I like this fellow, like him very much.

Evelyn: You told me you found it on a dig down in Thebes!
Jonathan: I was mistaken.
Evelyn: You lied to me!
Jonathan: I lie to everyone. What makes you so special?
Evelyn: I am your sister.
Jonathan: Well that just makes you more gullible.

Warden: I'll be back in a moment.
Rick O'Connell: I tremble with anticipation.

Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick O'Connell: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick O'Connell: Every damn day.

Evelyn: What did you find? What did you see?
Rick O'Connell: I found sand. I saw death.

Evelyn: I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life.
Warden: I would pay one hundred pounds just to see him hang.

Hangman: Any last requests, pig?
Rick O'Connell: Yeah, loosen the knot and let me go.

Rick O'Connell: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Evelyn: The Book Of The Living. It's what first interested me in Egypt as a child. It's why I came here, sort of a life's pursuit.
Rick O'Connell: And the fact that they say it's made out of pure gold, makes no nevermind to you, right?
Evelyn (surprised at his knowledge): You know your history.
Rick O'Connell: I know my treasure.

Rick O'Connell: Well, if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children!
Rick O'Connell: You don't have any children
Beni: Someday I might.

Rick O'Connell: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.
Rick (throwing her overboard): Trust me, it calls for it.

Beni: Hey O'Connell! Looks to me like I got all the horses!
Rick O'Connell: Hey Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!

Rick O'Connell: Why would they bury somebody in the ceiling?
Evelyn: They didn't. They buried him at the foot of Anubis. He was either someone of great importance... or he did something very naughty.

Evelyn (drunk): You're wondering what a place like me is doing in a girl like this.

Evelyn (upon seeing Imhotep's coffin): I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick O'Connell: You dream about dead guys?

Rick O'Connell: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No. I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He's still... still...
Rick and Jonathan ...juicy.

Evelyn: I read the book, I woke him up, and I intend to stop him.
Rick O'Connell: How!? You heard the man, no mortal weapons can kill this guy.
Evelyn: Then we'll have to find some immortal ones.

Rick O'Connell: Don't give me that; you never had any scruples.
Beni: Do you know where I can steal some?

Mr. Henderson: Get me a shot of bourbon, and a glass of bourbon, and a bourbon chaser.

Rick O'Connell: Don't worry. I'll figure something out.
Evelyn: You better. Because if he turns me into a mummy, you're the first one I'm coming after.

Winston: What's the challenge, then?
Rick O'Connell: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.

[From The Mummy Returns]

Ardeth Bay: Don't you see? By putting on the Bracelet, your son has started a chain reaction that will awaken the Scorpion King and bring about the end of the world.
Rick O'Connell: [to Ardeth] You, lighten up. [to Alex] You, big trouble. [to Jonathan] You, get in the car.

Rick O'Connell (about his son): I swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.
Evelyn: You mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?
Rick O'Connell: No. He's driving me crazy.

[witnessing Imhotep's resurrection]
Rick O'Connell: A few years ago I would have thought this was very strange.

Rick O'Connell: This is bad, Evie.
Evelyn: We've had bad before.
Rick O'Connell: This is worse!

Evelyn: Alex, I'm serious, if you've lost that key, you're grounded.
Alex: I haven't lost it, I just can't find it. There's a difference.

Rick O'Connell: Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house. I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.

Alex: You broke it. You broke it. You broke it.
Jonathan: Be quiet, Alex. If there are going to be any hysterics, they'll come from me.

Ardeth Bay: If he is not killed, he will raise the Army of Anubis!
Jonathan: I take it that's not a good thing?

Rick O'Connell: Let me guess, it was commanded by this Scorpion King guy?
Evelyn: Yes, but he only awakens once every 5,000 years.
Rick O'Connell: Right. And if someone doesn't kill him, then he's gonna wipe out the world.
Evelyn: How did you know?
Rick O'Connell: I didn't, but that's always the story.

Evelyn: But how does the story end?
Ardeth Bay: Only the journey is written, not the destination.
Rick O'Connell: Convenient.

- Lessons Learned -
What can we learn from this film series?

* Under no circumstances should you open an ancient box that threatens death to the one that opens the box.
* It's a bad idea to murder the Pharaoh while you are in his palace.
* Sometimes you just know you're going to have a lousy day.
* Nobody ever plays dead anymore.
* A few people who join the Legion are just looking for a good time.
* Telling a fleeing coward to "wait up" is pretty much wasting your breath.
* When you're on a ladder, be careful not to overextend your reach, especially when you're in the middle of a series of free-standing shelves.
* Compared to clumsy people, the other plagues were a joy!
* Maybe the city with treasure is just a myth. Or maybe the so-called expert is lying to keep the treasure for himself.
* Sometimes people find a so-called Lost Key.
* Don't judge a man by how he looks in prison.
* One really good kiss might help save your life.
* Never try to take a hostage who's holding a lit candle.
* Watch out for the camels. They smell, they bite, they spit. Disgusting.
* However, some people think camels are cute.
* You know you're getting closer to the forbidden city when you start to find more skeletons.
* Some people like to fight because they think they look good doin' it.
* Desert people value water, not gold. Usually.
* No harm ever came from reading a book.
* No harm ever came from opening a chest either, but there's a first time for everything.
* Some say it is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.
* Then again, some have unusual ideas for the definition of the word "better."
* Patience is a virtue, but not in all cases.
* We've all got our little problems.
* Nasty little people who betray others always get their comeuppances.
* What some call "stealing," others call "borrowing."
* Sacred stones are not quite the protective barrier that some believe them to be.
* There's always a catch.
* You may not behave for your parents, but you'd better do so for strangers.
* Some people just aren't happy without a good curse.
* If you move a torch fast enough, you can almost write your name.
* Sometimes, you just know how a story goes.
* There is a fine line between coincidence and fate.
* If a man does not embrace his past, he has no future.

- Favorite Scenes -
Also known as "moments"

[From The Mummy]

Beni wonders how Rick ended up in the Foreign Legion: "How about you? Kill somebody?" Beni trips and accidentally knocks Rick to the ground. O'Connell gives him a nasty look and replies "No, but I'm considering it."

Alone in the museum, Evelyn hears a noise and quickly turns around to look. All is quiet for a moment and then she hears it again, the sound of feet shuffling across the floor. "Hello?" she calls into the darkness. "Abdul? ... Mohammed? ... Bob?"

At the prison, Evelyn questions Rick about the location of Hamunaptra. Rick is all, "You really want to know?" Stepping forward, Evelyn repeats an affirmative. Rick beckons her closer, as if to whisper a reply. But when her face is close to the bars, Rick suddenly kisses her full on the lips before demanding his price, "Then get me the hell outta here!"

As Jonathan and Evelyn wait to meet Rick (after Evelyn gets Rick freed from prison), Evelyn says that she doesn't like Rick, and she describes him as filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel. Rick joins them asking, "Anyone I know?" He's cleaned up nicely, and Evelyn almost gasps when she sees him.

Evelyn: By the way... why did you kiss me?
Rick (with a shrug): I was about to be hanged, seemed like a good idea at the time.
[Evelyn's eyes widen. She turns and storms off, furious.]
Rick: What? What'd I say?

On the ship, Evelyn is walking around her cabin, trying to read but seeming very distracted. She finally scolds herself, "For heaven's sake, girl! It wasn't that good of a kiss anyway." Obviously Rick's kiss at the prison left quite an impression on her.

As Evelyn, Jonathan, Rick, and the Warden ride on camels to Hamunaptra, Evelyn starts to nod off, and she leans up against Rick, who sets her back up. Meanwhile, the Warden is nodding off too, and he leans against Jonathan. Jonathan pushes him back to his own camel and then smacks the Warden with his riding crop. The Warden jerks awake, saying, "No more goat soup!"

When Imhotep is fully reformed, he looks as handsome and muscular as he did the day he was buried alive. Evelyn stares at him, amazed, and says, "He's gorgeous!" Rick just gives her a look.

[From The Mummy Returns]

Alex is being a typical kid and annoying the murderous Lock-Nah with repeated askings of "Are we there yet?" Lock-Nah gets fed up and stabs the table right between Alex's fingers. Alex says, "That was amazing! Perfect aim!" Lock-Nah retorts, "What are you talking about? I missed."

Lock-Nah: When the time comes I shall truly enjoy killing you.
Alex: But until that time, you better be a *little* nicer to me. Now where's my water?
[Lock-Nah shoves a pitcher of water into Alex's hands]
Alex: No ice?

Rick sees mummified soldiers destroying his car and he's all, "Not my car!" and he grumbles "Oh, I hate mummies."

Pursued by an army of mummies, Evelyn and Rick flee into a building. Evelyn stops running and goes back to pull a nearby bench in front of the door. Rick returns to get her, saying, "Honey, what'cha doing? These guys don't *use* doors." As they continue running away, the mummies enter the building after them by crashing through the wall, leaving the door (and the bench) untouched.

- Afterthoughts -
Miscellaneous material

Credit: the quotes and movie descriptions are from the IMDb: The Mummy, The Mummy Returns.

* The Mummy website links: The Mummy III, The Scorpion King, Movie 1 @ Wikipedia, Movie 2 @ Wikipedia, Movie 3 @ Wikipedia, The Scorpion King @ Wikipedia

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