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Alias Quotes - Season Three


Quotes Poll Results

[Syd looks at the lipstick tracking device.]
Sydney: You know, peach isn't really in this season.
Vaughn: I heard peach was the new green.
Sydney: I thought beige was the new green.
Vaughn: No, beige is the new peach.
A Missing Link
Received 38.3% of 47 votes

Sydney: Vaughn, why are you doing this? My life is already a disaster . . . now yours is, too.
Vaughn: What happened between us - everything. The way it is . . . isn't anyone's fault, Sydney. And even though everything's changed, some things don't. I'm not gonna lose you twice.
Prelude
Received 36.7% of 30 votes

Sydney: You want to know how I am!? I am horrible! Vaughn, I am ripped apart! And not because I lost you... but because if it had been me, I would have waited. I would have found the truth. I wouldn't have given up on you. And now I realize... what an absolute waste that would have been!
The Two
Received 33.3% of 27 votes

Lindsey: If you're finished, this is the men's room.
Sydney: Who let you in?
Succession
Received 26% of 27 votes

Marshall: Excuse me - hello? Hi, uh... Sydney? I'm Marshall Flinkman. I work here. Tech design and, uh, operations here?
Sydney: Marshall. Of course I know who you are.
Marshall: Oh my God. Sydney, it's so amazing to see you, I can't even really relate. Actually, I, uh, wrote a poem...uh, um...
[He clears his throat.]
Marshall: "I've lost my keys. Where are they?"
The Two
Received 24.3% of 37 votes

Sydney: The last thing I want is to be responsible for driving a wedge between Vaughn and Lauren.
Jack: That is a concern I do not share.
A Missing Link
Received 23.4% of 47 votes

Doctor: Ms. Bristow, we know you know how to read this code. Do you recognize your handwriting?
Sydney (panting from being tortured): No . . . I . . . draw little . . . hearts over my I's. Smiley faces, sometimes.
Breaking Point
Received 23.3% of 30 votes

Jack: You can do better?
Marshall: Me? Please. I, uh, there's a lot of things I can't do in life, you know, um... smoking a cigarette, uh, playing basketball, I never... Oh, chin ups. I could never, uh, you know. There were always... kids laughing at me... but this? I was born for this.
Reunion
Received 22.2% of 27 votes

Weiss: This is why people from the CIA should not get married to people from the NSC, man. Don't poop where you sleep.
The Nemesis
Received 21.2% of 33 votes

Jack: Vaughn what?
Sydney: He got married.
Jack: Michael Vaughn is just a boy who was never good enough for you.
The Two
Received 19% of 37 votes

Marshall: I actually magnified it over a thousand times, and it's actually an RFID chip. Now RFID stands for radio frequency identification--
Weiss: Uh, Flinkman, you know what would be great? English.
Marshall: Oh, okay, sorry. I forgot you're ... not that astute.
The Nemesis
Received 18.2% of 33 votes

Jack: Did your scenarios take into account that helping Sydney at this point will require breaking at least a dozen federal laws?
Vaughn: Just the fact that you're telling me this means you have something planned. Damn it, let me help!
Breaking Point
Received 16.7% of 30 votes

Dixon: I know you have a million questions, but--
Sydney: I have a lot more than a million questions! I wish I *only* had a million questions!
The Two
Received 13.5% of 37 votes

Marshall: Mr. Sloane. Hi. It's been a while, and a lot has happened. I mean, at first you were evil, now you're good . . . so you claim . . . not that I don't..trust you, it's just . . . How are you?
Prelude
Received 13.3% of 30 votes

Vaughn: It's been three weeks since I learned that Sydney murdered Lazarey. I've been lying to my wife for three weeks.
Weiss: Vaughn, I know guys who've lied to their wives for a lot longer than that . . .
Vaughn: You understand that the reason your brother didn't like talking to you is because you say stupid things, right?
The Nemesis
Received 12.1% of 33 votes

Sydney: As your handler, you'll do as I say, when I say it. I select your assignments; I design your missions. I control you, not the other way around.
Sloane: Is that what you used to let Vaughn do? Control you?
The Nemesis
Received 12.1% of 33 votes

Sydney: You will set up a meeting with Sark and Allison. You'll explain to them that their travel plans have been compromised. You'll then offer them assistance in revising their arrangements.
Sloane: And pass the information along to you.
Sydney: That won't be necessary. You'll be wearing a wire.
Sloane: And if they discover that it's a setup?
Sydney: Then I get to hear them kill you.
The Nemesis
Received 12.1% of 33 votes

Lindsey: Perhaps if you'd listen to what I'm suggesting - certainly not that we throw Ms. Bristow back in the field...
Dixon: Look, I've experienced trauma myself. Returning to the field prematurely is as bad as not being trained at all!
Sydney: Okay, excuse me, but I am standing right here!
The Two
Received 10.8% of 37 votes

Marshall: Okay, if I were any more nervous, I'd need new underpants right about now.
Repercussions
Received 10.6% of 47 votes

Sydney: You look great. You lost weight?
Weiss: Oh, thanks, yeah. I sorta gave up all the foods that I enjoy.
The Two
Received 8.1% of 37 votes

Contact (with a thick French accent): Forgive me if I look shocking to you, but I was believing that you were dead.
Sydney: I was. But now I'm not.
Contact: This is why I love our business.
The Two
Received 8.1% of 37 votes

Sydney: Francie's been dead for two years, but I feel like I saw her a few days ago. And now that Will is in witness protection, I can't even contact him. All my friends are just... gone.
Weiss: Not all your friends...
Succession
Received 7.4% of 27 votes

Jack: I'm sure you remember him as part of the freelance team that Sydney infiltrated several weeks ago.
Vaughn: Yeah, sort of. He almost killed me.
Prelude
Received 6.7% of 30 votes

Sydney: He said they were planning to modify the virus.
Vaughn: Why is that?
Jack: We can assume what they've stolen is merely a precursor agent requiring further synthesis.
Weiss: Okay, does everyone here speak Science?
A Missing Link
Received 6.4% of 47 votes

Sydney: Okay, just so someone has said it. In the past two years, Sloane has obtained a pardon based mainly on the capture of a criminal who is now free. In addition, Sloane will be allowed to openly participate in Covenant activities, based on the promise that he will inform us of those activities. One could argue that he's just pulled off the con job of the century.
Lauren: It also appears that Bomani will kill Sloane if we interfere with his plans.
Sydney: And who here would lose sleep over that?
Repercussions
Received 6.4% of 47 votes

Marshall: I think I'm allergic to this mustache. You think it's cat fur?
Repercussions
Received 6.1% of 33 votes

Sydney: Why didn't she kill me?
Weiss: Maybe she likes you.
Sydney: Weiss, I'm serious.
Weiss: So am I!
The Nemesis
Received 6.1% of 33 votes

Sloane: Sydney, I was very pleased when Dixon said you'd agreed to be my handler.
Sydney: It was an assignment, not an agreement - the way a janitor doesn't agree to clean a toilet.
The Nemesis
Received 6.1% of 33 votes

Sloane: Sydney, do you believe in redemption?
Sydney: Not for you, no.
The Two
Received 5.4% of 37 votes

Sydney: I have the plans for the drone. If you want them back, get the NSC to release my father immediately.
Lindsey: Excuse me! I won't be blackmailed by a fugitive! Did you really think you could come in here and threaten me!?
Sydney: Yeah.
The Two
Received 5.4% of 37 votes

[Lindsey agrees to write the pardon for Jack.]
Sydney: B-R-I-S-T-O-W.
Lindsey: I know how to spell your name!
The Two
Received 5.4% of 37 votes

Jack: I need it by noon, tomorrow.
Computer Guy: I have an IQ of 170, Jack. I'm not David Copperfield.
[Jack gives a serious look.]
Computer Guy: I'll do what I can.
Reunion
Received 4.3% of 47 votes

Vaughn: I'm losing the signal!
Weiss: I'm aiming the mic right at her.
Vaughn: I should have worn the ring...
Weiss: Get over yourself, okay? No one aims the mic like I do.
A Missing Link
Received 4.3% of 47 votes

Jack: I tried shutting down his inquiry, but apparently something you said has made that impossible.
Sydney: All I said was that I couldn't talk about it.
Jack: Which, of course, has only piqued his interest.
Sydney: What piqued his interest was hearing Simon Walker call me Julia and then kiss me like his prom date!
A Missing Link
Received 4.3% of 47 votes

Jack: You don't really expect me to believe that you've changed.
Sloane: I expect you to believe in the consistency of my obsessions. Jack, I pursued the Rambaldi puzzle across the world for over 30 years. It never occurred to me that when the artifacts were finally assembled, that they would produce nothing more than a message...of peace.
Jack: Personally, I would have found it anticlimactic that after expecting to assemble a weapon of ultimate power, you ended up with a revelation you could have acquired from a fortune cookie.
Succession
Received 3.7% of 27 votes

Sark: Dear God, it can't possibly be you.
Sydney: Don't start this conversation by acting surprised that I'm alive.
Sark: Sydney, you know how highly I regard your abilities as an operative, but... even I didn't think you were capable of cheating death once your remains had been identified.
Succession
Received 3.7% of 27 votes

Weiss: You know what it is? What Medusa even means?
Sydney: No, all I know is the myth: a woman so ugly that if you looked at her, you'd turn to stone.
Weiss: Sounds like the myth of my college girlfriend. She actually dumped me for a roadie at a Duran Duran concert. How embarrassing is that?
Reunion
Received 3.7% of 27 votes

Vaughn: If you ever put my wife's life in danger again, I will kill you!
Jack: Then perhaps you finally understand the moral compromises you'll make when someone you love is in danger.
Prelude
Received 3.3% of 30 votes

Marshall: This guy Lang created this really cool device. Basically, take it to any missile silo in all of Russia and it interfaces with the launch control console, bypasses all security protocols. Initiation codes, the commander's launch key - irrelevant.
Sydney: It's a skeleton key for Russia's nuclear weapons?
Marshall: Yeah, and to be honest, I'm just a little bit jealous.
The Nemesis
Received 3% of 33 votes

Weiss: So wait. She took this guy's tooth!?
Sydney: She took the guy's tooth.
Weiss: Just when you think the world can't get any weirder...
The Nemesis
Received 3% of 33 votes

Walker: Where in the bloody hell have you been?
Sydney: Isn't *that* the question of the day?
A Missing Link
Received 2.1% of 47 votes

Sydney: I don't know how you convinced the CIA that you're trustworthy.
Sloane: Why don't you check my files?
Sydney: I know you too well.
The Two
Received 0% of 37 votes

Weiss: Why does moving heavy objects automatically mean ... uh ... that I need one of those beers? Chop, chop!
Sydney: Maybe because you're a slave to advertising.
Succession
Received 0% of 27 votes

Jack: Bob Lindsey has the White House spin machine ready to cover him when his actions prove ill-advised. He's nearly untouchable.
Sydney: I'd love to prove that wrong.
Succession
Received 0% of 27 votes

Sanko: On the other hand, it does seem that you owe me.
Sark: And what would that price be?
Sanko: Eight hundred million dollars.
Sark: Eight hundred million dollars? I have nowhere near that amount in my nest egg.
Succession
Received 0% of 27 votes

Lauren: I thought it best if the request came from you.
Sydney: I know we're being blunt ... but was that a threat?
Repercussions
Received 0% of 47 votes

Dixon: Promise me again that they won't hear it.
Marshall: The noise output is .04 dbs, which is inaubible to the human ear, sir. A cockroach thinks louder than this car.
Prelude
Received 0% of 30 votes

Sloane: There was a time you trusted me.
Sydney: That was before I knew who you were . . . That was before I knew who *I* was.
Prelude
Received 0% of 30 votes

Lauren: What you're suggesting is that I willfully participate in an orchestrated cover up!
Vaughn: No, but I would have hoped you'd be a person about this!
Breaking Point
Received 0% of 30 votes

Jack: I'll put you in checkmate in ten moves.
Brill: Yeah - if I play with my eyes closed.
Breaking Point
Received 0% of 30 votes


More Season Three Quotes

[Vaughn and Syd are discussing what to do with Daniel Ryan (Ricky Gervais)]
Vaughn: "Couldn't we just sic your dad on him?"

"Don't poop where you're gonna sleep" -weiss said this to vaughn about lying to lauren in the third season when he had to keep info from her about the death of lazarey

Lindsey: "Now if you'd excuse me, Miss Bristow, this is the men's room."
Syd: "Really? Who let you in?"

"I'm 'ere, she's 'ere, we made it." Will, in a British accent as he's undercover with Sydney

"I know, Vaughn. I know. We'll find each other. We always find each other." - Sydney to Vaughn

"Have I offended you in some way, like showing up and disrupting the perfect little life you had?" - Sydney to Vaughn

Contact: Of course. Forgive me if I look shocking to you, but I was believing that you were dead.
Sydney: I was. But now I'm not.
Contact: This is why I love our business.

Sydney: What I was hoping you would say is, "Sydney I gave up; I gave up on us. I lost faith." But what you came here for...was closure...and there is not a chance you are getting that from me!
(Cut back to Vaughn's face, still strained, hurt, and tense. Cut back to Sydney. She's having a harder time keeping her emotions out of her voice now; her voice is strained, hoarse.)
Sydney: I'm not gonna say I understand...I'm not gonna sympathize with you and tell you how hard it must be for you... But, you wanna know how I am!? I am horrible! Vaughn, I am ripped apart! (Strained whisper) And not because I lost you... but because...if it had been me... I would have waited...
(Cut to Vaughn's reaction. He blinks several times, swallows painfully. Pain, regret, and loss echo in his eyes. He appears very strained, as if perhaps trying to hold back tears himself.)
Sydney: I would have found the truth...I wouldn't have given up on you!
(Cut back to Sydney's face. Betrayal lights her face. She is bolstering herself with her anger. A hardness gleams in her eyes.)
Sydney: (harsh whisper, punctuated by shaky breaths) And now I realize... what an absolute waste that would have been!

Lindsey: If you're finished...this is the men's room...
Sydney: Who let you in?

Sydney: The last thing I want is to be responsible for driving a wedge between Vaughn and Lauren.
Jack: That is a concern I do not share.

Lauren: It also appears that Bomani will kill Sloane if we interfere with his plans...
Sydney: And who here would lose sleep over that!?

Marshall: (quietly, aside to Sydney) Okay, if I were any more nervous, I'd need new underpants right about now...

Sloane: Sydney, I was very pleased when Dixon said you'd agreed to be my handler...
Sydney: It was an assignment, not an agreement... the way a janitor doesn't agree to clean a toilet... But as your handler, you'll do as I say, when I say it. I select your assignments; I design your missions. I control you... not the other way around.

Vaughn: I... I think she's gonna say yes.
Marshall: Really? Because of the... rock jam song?
Vaughn: Maybe in spite of the rock jam song.

Marshall: Mr. Sloane... hi. It's been a while... and a lot has happened. I mean, at first you were evil, now you're good... so you claim... not that I don't...trust you, it's just... How are you?

Sloane: No! No morphine! I'll go into anaphylactic shock!
Jack: Arvin... We have to dig the bullet out.
Sloane: If you give me morphine, I'll be dead before you get to the bullet... And don't get any ideas...

Vaughn: You don't have to thank me.
Jack: Yes, I do, especially given your history. I used to think you didn't have much of a spine.
Vaughn: And has that assessment changed at all?
Jack: No.

Vaughn: I just wanted to say, for the record, concerning this... exchange. Sydney's life is in your hands... if you betray her... I swear to you, no matter what it costs me, I will kill you.
Sloane: (expressionless) No need to worry, Agent Vaughn... I love her, too.

Vaughn: Think that was the best move... punching Lindsey in the face?
Jack: Based on the comments he was making, it was obvious that you and I were going to end up here no matter what we did. Whether I hit him or not... I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity.

Sydney: Let's talk about you... beautiful painter lives in your building, and you haven't asked her out... why?
Will: Because Jonah's uh... recovering from a post-traumatic dating syndrome. After his last girlfriend dumped him by ramming a bayonet into his lungs.

Marshall: I didn't, Syd, I'm sorry. I didn't put a tracer on it.
Sydney: I know you. No one is more curious about technology than you. I need to find that cube.
Marshall: Listen, I didn't put a tracer on it. I swear to you, I didn't, okay?
Sydney: Okay.
Marshall: Okay, I put a tracer on it, but you cannot tell anyone because if they find out, they will fire me from this job. And I cannot be fired because I'm about to have a baby soon.
Sydney: Marshall, I love you.
Marshall: I love you too. Syd. Serious, you can't tell anyone, okay? Please?
Sydney: Can you locate the cube?
Marshall: No, not exactly. But I can narrow it down to a ten yard radius.
Sydney: Marshall, that's called locating it. Where is it?

Sydney: (in Korean, subtitles) Sorry, I only speak English.

Vaughn: We're not going to make it out of here. There's something I need you to know.
Sydney: Vaughn...
Vaughn: In my life, there is only one person.
Sydney: Don't do this.
Vaughn: Look at me.
Sydney: Vaughn...
Vaughn: The only reason I pushed you away...
Sydney: Please...
Vaughn: The only reason, I didn't know how to be around you.
Sydney: They're coming.
Vaughn: Sydney...
Sydney: I know. I know.
Sydney: (whispering) We'll find each other. We always find each other.
(They kiss for few seconds, then the guards take them out before the firing squad.)

Cole: Your hair! That's cool!
Sark: You're the man behind the Covenant.
Cole: I'm the man in front of the man. When'd you cut your hair?
Sark: It wasn't a matter of choice. I was in U.S. custody, as I thought you were. When were you released?
(Cole laughs.)
Cole: That's a good story. To your hair.
(They toast.)

Cole: You're cockier than I am. I love that about you.

Sydney: Is something wrong?
Vaughn: No. I'm just getting old, I guess.
Sydney: You expect me to believe that?
Vaughn: I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all. It'll pass.
Sydney: Yesterday was the day, wasn't it? The anniversary of your father's death?
Vaughn: How could you remember that?
Sydney: I remember what missing him does to you.

Sark: Put the gun down, Agent Vaughn. Drop the gun.
Vaughn: Not a chance, you drop yours.
Sark: Put the gun down now.
Sydney: No, Vaughn, don't!
Sark: Drop it. If you love her, you will put the gun down now.
(The masked figure looks at Vaughn.)
Sydney: Vaughn, don't!
(Vaughn drops the gun.)

Jack: Have you had dinner? If memory serves, you always liked Mitchellis.
Sydney: I haven't eaten there since I was eight.
Jack: I do eat, you know.

Sydney: According to Lysenker, Ryan always does business with the Covenant at the Commodore Hotel in Moscow, room 305.
Vaughn: I still think it would just be easier to stick your father on him.

Sydney: You're angry. There's a good reason. The Covenant took your brother's life.
Ryan: "Took his life?" What an interesting choice of words. I mean, personally I would have gone for something a little bit more colorful, like um, "murdered". Even that's not... how about, um, "slaughtered"? Yeah, "slaughtered". Try that.

Vaughn: If I need it, can I crash on your couch?
Weiss: Yeah, you just have to wipe off the Cheese Nips.

Sloane: Ah, you have such a beautiful smile, Sydney. I miss it.
Sydney: If you're executed, I'll be a witness. I'll smile then.

Marshall: Okay, now this is what I was looking at. That's your basic land mass. But then if I compare the topography with oceanic mapping... heh, Sloane is a genius.
(Sydney gives him a "Are you crazy?" look.)
Marshall: I mean an evil, horrible genius. Bad man genius. But still, genius.

Weiss: You know, Syd, nobody would blame you for hating him for going back to her.
Sydney: He's not the one I hate. How horrible does that sound?
Weiss: Well I'm mad at her, and I don't even think he's that cute.

Sydney: After thirty years you still live with your wife's betrayal. Will he?
Jack: Absolutely.

Toni: How long did it take you to come up with that?
Marshall: My lunch break. We get forty-five minutes, so...
Toni: I want you.
Marshall: Come again?
Toni: To work for me. How much do they pay you?
Marshall: How much do they... a lot, a lot.
Toni: Work for me and your base will be a million a year.
Marshall: Oh, that's a nice base.
Toni: Mmm hmm...
Marshall: Um, the thing is I get really good medical, and my little guy, Mitch... have I told you about him? Well he's also covered under the CIA extension of the plan... yea...
(Marshall takes out a picture of Mitchell.)
Toni: Aww, cute.
Marshall: To be honest with you, I kind of like working for the good guys. No offence.
Toni: None taken.

Foster: At 7:22 this evening, you were logged in at the safe-house where Nadia Santos is being held. Is that accurate?
Sydney: It was around dinner. I brought her a sandwich.
Foster: Where were you before that?
Sydney: Buying her the sandwich.


Acknowledgments

Thanks to "Stephanie", "anonymous", "Mrs. Vartan" and "Janet C" for the first six quotes in the "More Season Three Quotes" section, and many, many thanks to Kim for the rest of the "More" quotes! Thanks also to everyone who voted in the quotes polls.


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