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Alias Quotes - Season One

Sydney's Opening Lines from Season One

"My name is Sydney Bristow. Seven years ago I was recruited by a secret branch of the CIA called SD-6. I was sworn to secrecy, but I couldn't keep it from my fiancé. And when the head of SD-6 found out, he had him killed. That's when I learned the truth: SD-6 is not part of the CIA; I've been working for the very people I thought I was fighting against. So, I went to the only place that could help me take them down. Now I'm a double agent for the CIA, where my handler is a man named Michael Vaughn. Only one other person knows the truth about what I do - another double agent inside SD-6. Someone I hardly know, my father."


Quotes Poll Results

These are quotes from season one, as ranked by this site's visitors.

Vaughn: Are you romantically interested in anyone?
[Sydney gives him a look.]
Vaughn: Could be a question.
Sydney: No, I'm not.
[The lie detector indicates a lie.]
Vaughn: Interesting.
Time Will Tell
Received 53.1% of 194 votes

Haladki: You're too emotionally attached to that woman!
Vaughn: Oh, like you would know anything about being emotionally attached to a woman!
Haladki: I think your judgement's impaired!
Vaughn: I think I'm gonna kick your ass!
The Box (Part 1)
Received 43.5% of 124 votes

Sydney: Did you study bomb defusion at Langley?
Vaughn: Just seminars, though. Nothing field-specific.
Sydney: Does anyone ever learn anything in seminars?
Vaughn: Let's just take this one step at a time. This is a charge of C-4. I can tell, 'cause it says "C-4" everywhere.
The Box (part 2)
Received 34.5% of 116 votes

Sydney: You didn't think about it. Not once. The possibility that Rambaldi could be right about me.
Vaughn: No. I didn't.
Sydney: Why not?
Vaughn: Because I believe in you. Do you think I'd throw just anyone in my trunk?
Q & A
Received 33.9% of 118 votes

Man: Who are you working for? I'll not ask you again.
Sydney: Okay. Get a pen. ... Write this down. E-M-E-T-I-B. You got that?
Man: Yes.
Sydney: Okay. Now reverse it.
Truth Be Told
Received 30.4% of 148 votes

Vaughn: I was in this store, you know, um... this little antique place.
Sydney: What were you doing in an antique store?
Vaughn: I don't know. ... Whatever. Um, look, if you don't like it just... don't tell me.
Spirit
Received 26.1% of 138 votes

Sydney: It took me a second to realize what you were doing.
Jack: I was blinking as fast as I could.
Sydney: I know. I was like, "Hard on your light"?
Jack: Guard on your right.
Sydney: Well, I figured it out. I was just never very good at Morse code.
The Confession
Received 26.1% of 138 votes

Will: One in five, you little bitch! ONE IN FIVE!
Almost Thirty Years
Received 22.4% of 125 votes

Francie: "Dear Aunt Stephanie. Unfortunately, as my mother has informed you, the wedding is off so I am returning your kind gift of a coffee maker because, as it turns out, the man to whom I was engaged is a deceitful, two-faced, sex-crazed jackass. All my love, Francie."
Sydney: It's not too harsh.
Page 47
Received 22.3% of 130 votes

Sydney: You said you wanted to talk about the plan. I'm giving you the plan.
Vaughn: It's not your job to give me the plan. I'm giving you the plan. Tomorrow's your first day back at SD-6. Now, nothing should change. When you get your assignment, you'll detail your mission on a paper bag. [He shows her one] Bag. Then you'll call this number. Memorize it. After three tones, press the appropriate digit -- one through six. Each corresponds to a trash can in a specific location. Now we'll review your information, create a countermission, and we'll contact you posing as a wrong number. Joey's Pizza. Any questions, so far?
Sydney: Yeah. Can you show me what a bag looks like again?
So It Begins
Received 21.6% of 148 votes

Weiss: Whooo. Impressive.
Vaughn: Yeah.
Weiss: Balls of Steel! No, that's what I'm gonna call you from now on. [To an agent walking by] Hey. Have you met Balls of Steel?
So It Begins
Received 21.2% of 104 votes

Francie: I'm gonna send flowers to Will for babysitting our rodents. What do you think the card should say?
Sydney: I had sex with someone.
Francie (with a laugh): Seriously.
The Solution
Received 20.8% of 125 votes

Vaughn: When you first walked into my office with that stupid Bozo hair, I thought you were crazy. I thought you might actually be a crazy person. But I watched you, and I read your statement, and I've seen... I've seen how you think, I've seen how you work, I've seen how you are in this job. In this job, you see darkness. You see the worst in people and though the jobs are different and the missions change, and the enemies have a thousand names, the one crucial thing, the one real responsibility you have is to not let your rage, and your resentment, and your disgust, darken you. When you're at your absolute lowest, at your most depressed, just remember that you can always... you know. You got my number.
A Broken Heart
Received 20.2% of 104 votes

Francie: Hi, and what have you been drinking?
Will: Uh, I don't know... There was a little horse on the label. A dog. I don't know. A doghorse. I think. Some kind of mythical creature condemned to live in a bottle for eternity. It's a doghorse. A doghorse.
The Box (part 2)
Received 19.0% of 116 votes

Sydney: Got it. How do I look?
Dixon: For the record, that's a question you never have to ask.
Time Will Tell
Received 18.6% of 194 votes

Sydney: I just wanted to rip his finger right off again. . . . Does that make me a bad person?
Vaughn: No. But it might have blown your cover.
The Coup
Received 18.5% of 130 votes

Vaughn: Last week, when you talked about quitting SD-6--
Sydney: I was being naive.
Vaughn: No, but, um, what you said about wanting to go to a hockey game... wanting me to be part of your life... I, uh, I think I wasn't clear about something. (pause) That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you. Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game. I-I just... I wasn't clear that I would really like that, too.
The Coup
Received 16.9% of 130 votes

"The Man": I have waited almost thirty years for this.
Sydney: Mom?
Almost Thirty Years
Received 16.8% of 125 votes

Jack: I'll tell you what. I may become your father-in-law, that's just fine. But I will not be used as part of a charming little anecdote you tell your friends at cocktail parties so they can see what a quaint, old-fashioned guy Danny really is. Are we clear?
Danny: Yes, sir...
Jack: Good. Then welcome to the family.
Truth Be Told
Received 16.1% of 148 votes

Jack: Just so we're clear: you report this conversation, you'll never wear a hat again.
Q & A
Received 15.3% of 118 votes

Sydney: You like hockey, right? The Kings?
Vaughn: Yeah, how'd you--
Sydney: The pen you keep in your briefcase. It's a Kings pen.
Vaughn: Yeah, I got that--
Sydney: They're playing the Islanders next week. We should go.
The Box (Part 1)
Received 14.5% of 124 votes

Marshall: Okay, um, this place you're going to is swank. I mean, it's, like, super-swank. Which is why I made you these puppies. ... Now, not only do they take pictures silently and have a telephoto lens, but... they're super-swank.
Spirit
Received 13.8% of 138 votes

Sydney: You move out of my way, or I will make you move out of my way.
The Prophecy
Received 13.6% of 118 votes

Weiss: But whatever it is, it's starting to affect me and if that sounds selfish to you, I was hoping to retire fully vested. I know you genuinely care for her. I do, too. But there is a line that we have been sworn not to cross. We're about a mile past that.
Vaughn: I don't know how to be Sydney's handler without making it personal.
Weiss: Figure out a way.
Rendezvous
Received 13.6% of 125 votes

Jack: You shouldn't be here.
Sydney: I told you I have a thousand questions. They're keeping me awake at night.
Jack: Then take something.
Parity
Received 13.5% of 104 votes

Vaughn: The guys who made the paperclip bug came up with this. It overrides the circuitry, tricks the safe into believing you entered the correct combination. Now, they say it's bitchin', so I'm assuming it's bitchin'.
Page 47
Received 13.1% of 130 votes

Will: She's pregnant and apparently it's a condition some women get before they--
Sydney: Eating newspaper's a condition?
Will: Yeah, yeah. This is what I write about. This is how I make a living. And Lintback says my writing's too judgemental and I'm like, "Well, who cares? She's not gonna read it anyway, she's gonna swallow it."
So It Begins
Received 12.8% of 148 votes

Francie: Do you really think somebody's listening?
Will: Yeah. I don't even care anymore. I just want to watch old movies and go to sleep.
[Francie talks into the bug.]
Francie: Do you think I will find a good wedding dress?
Will: Fran, it's not a Magic 8 Ball.
Mea Culpa
Received 11.8% of 194 votes

Vaughn: I also went through the C.I.A. logs and compared the two. They don't match. You fixed the transmission. Made it look like it was Rusik by altering the signal's point of origin and changing the message contact.
Jack: Whoever the hell you think you are -- checking up on me, pulling my file, second-guessing my choices -- let's just both face the facts. You're not that person. Neither your experience, nor your intelligence has earned you the right to question a thing that I do. Now, I'm going to make two suggestions. One, that you stop it. And two, that the next time they assign you to be my handler, you kindly decline.
Vaughn: Rusik never transmitted a thing, did he?
Jack: Of course he didn't. If you got the SD-6 transmission, why the hell are you asking me?
Vaughn: I never got the SD-6 transmission. It was just a hunch.
Spirit
Received 10.8% of 138 votes

Sydney: There's something that happens when you discover the truth about someone. I know a little about this. . . . The truth changes everything.
The Box (Part 1)
Received 10.5% of 124 votes

Vaughn: It's a weird thing. You know, when you're learning how your father died. I... it's always been this intellectual idea I had, knowing he died, just not having any details.
Weiss: You really want some space, or are you and I going to go get drunk? 'Cause there's this bar - you won't even remember it tomorrow.
The Box (Part 1)
Received 10.5% of 124 votes

Cole: All right, Arvin, here's the deal. We are in the vault room. Two things. One - you don't give us the codes. We got the tech to get it anyway, it'll just take a while. And two - you give us the codes, and I don't have to open the box which will be really excellent for you.
Sloane: I can't be the first person having difficulty taking you seriously, can I?
The Box (part 1)
Received 9.5% of 116 votes

Sydney: We'd have to leave tonight. You in?
Vaughn: Yeah. I'll break into the Vatican with you.
The Prophecy
Received 9.3% of 118 votes

Weiss: And what if there has been a takeover?
Vaughn: If I'm not back in a couple of hours, I'm probably dead.
Weiss: Good to know.
The Box (part 2)
Received 8.6% of 116 votes

Cole: I saw you in the coffee room. You were wearing pigtails and I asked you out. Now, I know I'm not the subtlest guy when it comes to women and I probably said something insanely inappropriate because you told me if I ever talked to you again, you'd break my kneecaps. . . . Which just made me love you. I've thought about you these last five years. I have. Uh, just every once in a while I'd think, "I wonder whatever happened to Pigtails." And, um, what I took away from that encounter in the coffee room was the fact that you didn't want to go see some mediocre romantic comedy with me, sit in my Pontiac in the parking lot, while we talked for an hour before I made my move. You didn't want to kiss me. Remember?
Sydney: No, I don't. But I can see not wanting to kiss you.
The Box (part 2)
Received 8.6% of 116 votes

Marshall: So, you want to hack into a casino. Well, do you remember how tight security was in that Siberian silo a couple of years ago? Cakewalk compared to Vegas. I mean, casino security is like an onion. It's layer after layer after layer and the more that you peel back, the more you want to cry.
The Coup
Received 8.5% of 130 votes

Sydney: You know I can't do that.
Noah: Why?
Sydney: Well, for about a million reasons.
Noah: I highly doubt there are a million reasons. There might be fifty, and I'd like the opportunity to refute all of them.
Snowman
Received 8% of 125 votes

Cole: Dear person beating up my men: I assume that you're an employee here. I am now standing in Sloane's... tastefully minimilastic office and if you are not here standing in front of me in the next twenty seconds, I am going to start executing your friends. Starting with the man that I assume to be your partner... [He reads the ID.] ...Mr. Jack Bristow.
The Box (part 2)
Received 7.8% of 116 votes

Weiss: Any word from her yet?
Vaughn: No. I don't expect to hear anything 'til she gets back.
Weiss: Your girlfriend's name is Alice, right?
Vaughn: Would you shut up?
So It Begins
Received 7.7% of 104 votes

Will: Hi, um, I don't know if I'm talking to the right person, but I need to borrow a million bucks. The Olsen twins went public, and I'm looking to invest.
Sydney: You'll need some collateral. I don't think you've got any.
Will: Well, have you seen my aqua blue Chevy?
Sydney: You mean, with the hula girl on the dash? Yes, sadly, we've seen that.
Parity
Received 7.7% of 104 votes

Vaughn: Sydney's life is worth the risk!
Jack: Not to Sydney! Taking them down is what gets her up in the morning. Or... did you think it was those meetings she has with you?
Color Blind
Received 7.7% of 104 votes

Agent: I can give you the old bona fides.
Sydney: How do I know this isn't a set-up?
Agent: Credit Dauphine is SD-6's front company. Marshall runs the op tech division. And Sloane... is a humorless son of a bitch.
Masquerade
Received 7.6% of 118 votes

Will: Is my voice annoying?
Jenny: Your voice?
Will: Yeah. I was just going over this interview with Eloise Kurtz and I started thinking about McNeil. How he had this look in his eyes when I was interviewing him. His lawyer the same thing. Just... trying to get away from me.
Jenny: Will, you're a journalist for God's sake. You get paid to be annoying.
The Box (Part 1)
Received 7.3% of 124 votes

Jack: Tippin didn't turn out to be a problem, did he?
Sloane: Sydney wasn't intimate with Tippin. She is with Hicks.
Jack: I'm not sure that's my business, and I *know* it isn't yours.
Snowman
Received 7.2% of 125 votes

Sydney: I'm here.
Cole: You're the bad ass that's been killing my men? I don't know, I just kind of thought you'd be an ugly guy.
The Box (part 2)
Received 6.9% of 116 votes

Lambert: Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
Sydney: I know exactly who I'm talking to. Tell Devlin if Agent Vaughn isn't on the other end of this earpiece when I turn it on, the C.I.A. gets nothing.
Lambert: Vaughn is a junior officer.
Sydney: Then promote him.
Parity
Received 6.7% of 104 votes

Sydney: Where are you?
Vaughn: Satellite relay station back in L.A., watching you from a two-hundred mile orbit.
Sydney: My guardian angel.
Vaughn: I was going to say the same thing to you. Thanks for the promotion.
Parity
Received 6.7% of 104 votes

Jack: You pulled my file last week, that's my problem, Mr. Vaughn. Now, did curiousity get the better of you, or were you trying to impress my daughter?
Vaughn: She thinks you were KGB. But, I'm sure you already knew that. So, what I'm wondering is what were you doing checking up on me checking up on you?
Color Blind
Received 6.7% of 104 votes

Bodyguard: Who the hell are you?
Sydney (acting like her spoiled alias): Where the HELL is Severin? He was supposed to meet me here twenty minutes ago! You are pointing that gun at me! PUT THAT DOWN!
Bodyguard: Who are you?
Sydney: Who am I?! Well, look at me closely. You don't know this face?! You don't know who I am?!
Spirit
Received 6.5% of 138 votes

Sydney: The truth is, I didn't love any of the subjects I was studying. My father and I weren't speaking, my mother had died when I was six, and the highlight of my social life was my dorm's salad bar.
Q & A
Received 6% of 118 votes

Will: What's the paper on?
Sydney: It's a redo. Professor said it didn't have any soul, so I'm writing a paper with soul. It's got lots of soul!
Time Will Tell
Received 5.7% of 194 votes

Jack: Get in!
Sydney: Daddy?!
Jack: NOW!
Sydney: Dad, you have a gun!
Truth Be Told
Received 5.4% of 148 votes

Sydney: Did the Clinton administration teach you nothing?
Will: Whoa. I'm not married, I can date--
Sydney: Don't start defending your thing with Jenny. She's not in your league and you know it.
Will: Who's in my league? What league? Show me a league and I'll buy a ticket, I'll go to the meetings and I will try and find those people. Where are they?
The Coup
Received 5.4% of 130 votes

[Sydney is suspended on a rope between two buildings ]
Dixon: How's it hanging, Syd?
Sydney: Very funny.
The Coup
Received 5.4% of 130 votes

Will (to Sydney): I'm asking because I care. I just think it's weird for something else like this to happen to you. I mean, first it's Danny, now it's this.
Francie: Leave her alone, or I will kick your ass. I'm not kidding.
Mea Culpa
Received 5.1% of 138 votes

Sloane: It had occurred to me, as I was walking down the White House steps that I was living in a perfect moment. Everything was filled with promise. My role at the C.I.A., my relationship with a wife that I had not yet met. Still, I could feel a darkness coming so I wandered around for a while. Ended up at the Jefferson Memorial. It's always my favorite one. Looked out across the basin. Lincoln right there. I didn't know how it would finally materialize -- the darkness. I had nothing to base it on. It wasn't as if the C.I.A. had just betrayed me, that my wife had just been diagnosed with lymphoma. None of that had happened yet. So, whenever life takes an unfortunate turn, as it has this week, I just remind myself that I could see it coming all along.
Spirit
Received 5.1% of 138 votes

Vaughn: Steven Haladki - he's CIA. He works in the LA office. Former FBI. I know he still has ties.
Jack: Haladki. I'll talk to him.
Vaughn: Oh, no, the problem is... he's not talking.
Jack: He'll talk to me.
Q & A
Received 5.1% of 118 votes

Hassan: Listen, I have a wife and a son. They are a target. Not just SD-6. I've made many enemies in the past. Now, you bring them to the United States, give them protection. You do that for me, and I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Everything.
Vaughn: Let me make one thing very clear, Mr. Hassan. The extent to which I am willing to service you is when I offer you a soda.
The Confession
Received 4.8% of 124 votes

Noah: Is there a problem?
Agent: Mr. Sloane asked for you to come with us.
Noah: Well, that's never a good thing.
Snowman
Received 4.8% of 125 votes

Vaughn: Sloane's house might be more vulnerable.
Sydney: This isn't a logistical question. This is a moral one.
Vaughn: A moral one? Sydney, you're a spy. This is hardly the darkest decision you've had to make!
Page 47
Received 4.6% of 130 votes

Sydney: Why didn't you say something? I mean, you could have told me what I was really doing - damage instead of good - but you kept quiet.
Jack: Revealing the truth about what you were doing would have required revealing the truth about what I was doing.
The Confession
Received 4.3% of 138 votes

Vaughn: Hey, what did you say before about Haladki?
Weiss: I don't think he showers?
Q & A
Received 4.2% of 118 votes

Donato: You are American?
Sydney: Yes.
Donato: Only an American would come to my door without telephoning.
Time Will Tell
Received 4.1% of 194 votes

Sydney: What happens when someone you care about is in trouble. What you said, that nothing else matters. It all just goes away. Last week when I learned what my father did for me, sacrificing Rusik, it made me sick. But now, I know I would have done the exact same thing. You should have seen him.
Vaughn: Your father?
Sydney: Yeah, he was like... he was like a pro. He was good. I mean, the way you talked about him once, what his reputation was, I could see it in action. He was... impressive.
The Confession
Received 4.1% of 124 votes

Sydney: How am I going to tell her?
Will: Um, okay, okay, okay. Let me make a suggestion. Yeah. Make sure she's sitting down and make sure she is very drunk.
The Coup
Received 3.8% of 130 votes

Sydney: I've got bad news for you, man. I'm your worst enemy. I've got nothing to lose.
Man: That's not exactly true. You have teeth.
Truth Be Told
Received 3.4% of 148 votes

Sydney: I thought you sold airplane parts!
Jack: I don't sell airplane parts. I never sold airplane parts.
Truth Be Told
Received 3.4% of 148 votes

Will: I made sure I wasn't followed. I took, like, two cabs and a bus just to get here and I wore this thing the whole time... I looked like Gabe Caplan.
Kelly: Who's that?
Will: Doesn't matter.
The Box (part 2)
Received 3.4% of 116 votes

Vaughn: How's the food? So, Mr. Hassan, you've had some time to think about it. You want to help me out?
Hassan: Screw you.
Vaughn: Screw me?
Hassan: Screw you. I don't talk to you until you show me some respect.
Vaughn: Let's be honest here. In twenty minutes, you're going to be shipped off to a maximum-security prison outside Los Angeles. By five pm, you're going to be someone's after-dinner mint. So unless you start cooperating with me real fast, respect is going to be the least of your problems.
The Confession
Received 3.2% of 124 votes

Jack: Yes.
[She slaps him.]
Sydney: Don't you ever speak to me again.
So It Begins
Received 2.7% of 148 votes

Sloane: I am in no position to allow you to go off on what appears to be a rogue operation that would compromise the Agency.
Sydney: Every day you send me out on operations that could compromise this Agency, but as long as it's for SD-6, the risk is acceptable. It is time that SD-6 took a risk for me.
Masquerade
Received 2.5% of 118 votes

Dr. Barnett: I am going to recommend that you see me once a week.
Jack: You haven't got a clue what's required to lead the kind of life I lead. To maintain a balance between two lives and protect my daughter in the process. The kind of person who does that, the kind of person I have to be, is not the kind of person who would come in and talk to you.
Dr. Barnett: Well, then, I guess we're making some progress. See you next week.
Masquerade
Received 2.5% of 118 votes

Vaughn: Mr. Kishell, I appreciate you talking to me. I know this must be very difficult.
Kishell: I know difficult. Talk is easy.
Snowman
Received 2.4% of 125 votes

Sloane: We both know you're a very clever young man so we don't need to play games. You're valuable to me. You can help me find Khasinau. I'm valuable to you... obviously.
Sark: I understand I am in no position to demand anything, but for the record, I'm far more comfortable talking over a glass of Chateau Petreuse... '82.
Rendezvous
Received 2.4% of 125 votes

Sydney: How do I know what you're telling me is the truth?
Jack: I guess we'll just have to learn to trust each other.
Truth Be Told
Received 2.1% of 148 votes

Sydney: It was over so quickly, I--
Will: I mean, what for? For computer codes, bank stuff? What did the cops say?
Francie: Can you not be a reporter for, like, two minutes?
Mea Culpa
Received 2.1% of 194 votes

Sloane: I always knew there was something about you, from the first time I saw you.
Sydney: A lot can change in seven years.
Sloane: It's been a lot longer than seven years. I've known your father since 1971. I met him at Langley. I knew your mother. I went to your parents' wedding. Sydney, I've known you since you were a baby. I was out of the country for most of your childhood, various operations, but I kept tabs on you. I checked in on you in my own way. I always thought of you as my daughter, even from the beginning. Well, I just wanted to let you know... before you went away.
Mea Culpa
Received 2.1% of 194 votes

Francie: So, he says to me, "Hey, honey? I asked for butter, like, an hour ago." And I'm sitting there thinking, "Uh, no, you asked the other black girl for butter, you rich entitled son of a bitch."
So It Begins
Received 1.9% of 104 votes

Cole: Have you seen Chen?
Girl Thug: Not lately.
Cole: I feel like I'm a mom at the mall!
The Box (part 2)
Received 1.7% of 116 votes

Will: Why would he lead me to you knowing that you'd want to flush him out?
Jack: He only told you my name so you would realize that my threat to you was a bluff. That I would never hurt Sydney, even if you continue your investigation. He didn't expect you'd have the guts to contact me.
Will: Oh, well, I'll assume that's a compliment.
Rendezvous
Received 1.6% of 125 votes

Will: This is exactly why I became a reporter. It's like--it's like, the best movie ever made!
Francie: "His Girl Friday"?
Will: Yeah! What's a better movie than that?
Francie: "Godfather," "On The Waterfront," "Citizen Kane"...
Will: Okay, okay, you're right.
Francie: "Raging Bull," "Empire Strikes Back"...
Mea Culpa
Received 1.5% of 194 votes

Voice: You have questions about Kate Jones. How far are you willing to go, Mr. Tippin? I need to hear the words "I'm ready."
Will: Why? Why, could my life be in danger?
Voice: Say the words.
Will: Yeah, I'm in. I'm ready.
Mea Culpa
Received 1.5% of 138 votes

Dixon: Have we learned anything more about The Man?
Sydney: We have got to get a name for this guy already.
Page 47
Received 1.5% of 130 votes

Sloane: Information about this agency must be treated like a virus. There is only one response to a virus, and that response is containment. You put us in a compromised situation, and even though I despise the countermeasure, we have--
Sydney: Stop saying "we"! Stop talking about the agency! You killed the man I love!
Sloane: No, Agent Bristow. You did.
Truth Be Told
Received 1.4% of 148 votes

Sloane: Well, how do you suggest we proceed?
Jack: Leave it to me. I'll get Tippin off the story.
Sloane: And if you can't?
Jack: Then I'll kill him myself.
Time Will Tell
Received 1% of 194 votes

Vaughn: We know your father was being tracked by an FBI counterintelligence--
Sydney: You said that it was routine.
Vaughn: There's nothing routine about that list. There's something very specific about it. It's been a mystery within the agency for over two decades. Who murdered those C.I.A. officers? I'm sorry, but we have our answer now. It was your father. And I'm going to report him.
The Confession
Received 0.8% of 124 votes

Vaughn: Haladki! What the hell is your problem, Haladki? Reporting me to Barnett?
Haladki: I don't have a problem. I told you, you have the problem.
Vaughn: You know what? This might shock you, but my business is not your business.
The Box (Part 1)
Received 0.8% of 124 votes

Will: It doesn't even make sense anymore. No one works as hard as you do. It's not like you're a brain surgeon, getting a call in the middle of the night to save a life. I mean, there are bankruptcies. How much are they paying you to live like this?
Sydney: Not enough.
Spirit
Received 0.7% of 138 votes

Will: The only reason I didn't want this story to run is 'cause I don't want to hurt Sydney Bristow. That's it.
Boss: You're a talented writer, Will. But I promise you, if anything like this happens again, the only thing you'll be inventing are facts on your resume.
Time Will Tell
Received 0% of 194 votes

Haladki: You're at SD-6?!
Vaughn: Did you hear what I said?
Haladki: That's a massive breach of protocol!
Vaughn: Screw protocol!
The Box (part 2)
Received 0% of 116 votes


More Season One Quotes

Jack: "Welcome to the family." (after chewing Danny out about asking him if he can marry Sydney in the pilot episode)

"Write this down. E. M. E. T. I. B. Got it? Now, reverse it."--Sydney, while being tortured for not revealing who she works for

"Thank you... bless your heart..." (tearfully) "I like your tie..." - Syd in the pilot to "Suits and Glasses" who adjusts his tie

Marshall: You probably don't know this about me, but I'm not much of a social person.
So It Begins

Dixon: We kill ourselves to do the right thing: meanwhile the bad people keep coming back.
So It Begins

Vaughn:We have to be wildly, crazy careful....
A Broken Heart

Francie: What? You kissed Will Tippin? Are you kidding me? . . . I don't believe it. You must have been really drunk.
A Broken Heart

Jenny: That was Sydney, right? You're different when you talk to Sydney.
Will: Don't analyze me.
A Broken Heart

Sydney: I feel like I'm losing my mind! Like I don't even know who I am anymore, or what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it!
A Broken Heart

"What were you doing checking up on me, checking up on you?" Vaughn to Jack, after Jack confronts Vaughn for looking in his file
Color Blind

Marshall: That sound - you know that boom? That's my mind blowing.
Time Will Tell

"This is a charge of C-4. I can tell, because it says "C-4" everywhere." - Vaughn (from episode 1.13)

"You're the bad ass that's been beating up my men?" Cole to Sydney as Sydney surrenders to save Jack. (from episode 1.13)

"Now, I know I'm not the subtlest guy when it comes to women and I probably said something insanely inappropriate, because you told me if I ever talked to you again, you'd break my kneecaps. Which just made me love you." - Cole to Sydney (from episode 1.13)

"See, the problem with you kickboxers, ain't none of y'all can take a punch!" - Cole, before knocking Sydney out. (from episode 1.13)

"I think you're right. Taking a punch is something I got to learn how to do." - Sydney, getting her revenge, kicking him in the head and knocking him out. (from episode 1.13)

Syd: "Did you learn nothing from the Clinton Administration??" (after Will's hickie, in ep 1.14)

Syd: "I just wanted to rip his finger right off. Does that make me a bad person?"
Vaughn: "No, but it might have blown your cover."

"What you said about wanting to go to a hockey game, wanting me to be part of your life. I, uh, I think i wasn't clear about something. That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you. Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game, I just, I wasn't clear that I would really like that too." Vaughn in episode 1x14 "the Coup" after Sydney has talked about quitting the CIA

"They've never seen sunlight." "Page 47" when Vaughn was talking about the tech guys who make all the funky little gadgets that Sydney uses.

"Daddy?"
"Hey honey."
-In episode 1.17 Q&A after Jack and Vaughn got Sydney out of FBI custody.

Will: Yeah, no kidding. There's a woman in Marina Del Ray who's eating newspapers.
Francie: She's eating it?
Will: She's pregnant and apparently it's a condition some women get before they-- (motions to stomach)
Sydney: Eating newspaper's a condition?
Will: Yeah, yeah. This is what I write about. This is how I make a living. And Lintback says my writing's too judgemental and I'm like, "Well, who cares? She's not gonna read it anyway, she's gonna swallow it."

(Boss leaves. Weiss, from the adjoining office, comes in, having overheard everything.)
Weiss: Whooo. Impressive.
Vaughn: (scoffs) Yeah.
Weiss: Balls of steel!
(Vaughn laughs.)
Weiss: No, that's what I'm gonna call you from now on. (to agent walking by) Hey. Have you met Balls of Steel?

Sloane: Eduardo Benegas. Spanish. V.C. Auto enthusiast.
Marshall: He also happens to own the largest collection of pornographic art in all of Madrid. Which... I thought was an interesting fact. Sorry.

Sloane: Marshall, would you please go back to work?
Marshall: Just to clarify, I'm not being fired?
Sloane: Back to work means not fired.

Lambert: Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
Sydney: I know exactly who I'm talking to. Tell Devlin if Agent Vaughn isn't on the other end of this earpiece when I turn it on, the CIA gets nothing.
Lambert: Vaughn is a junior officer.
Sydney: Then promote him.

Sydney: Who am I talking to?
Vaughn: Your invisible friend.
(Vaughn sits behind a computer and zooms in on Sydney walking in the stadium.)
Sydney: Good. Where are you?
Vaughn: Satellite relay station back in L.A., watching you from a two-hundred mile orbit.
Sydney: (looks up at the sky) My guardian angel.
Vaughn: I was going to say the same thing to you. Thanks for the promotion.
Sydney: You're welcome.

Sydney: And the bank called. Uh, I might have another trip.
Will: You take an insane amount of trips.

Sydney: You sure you're okay?
Vaughn: Yeah. I just, uh--
Sydney: Did you have a fight with your wife?
Vaughn: My what?
Sydney: Your wife.
Vaughn: What wife? I have no wife.
Sydney: No, there was a picture in your office. You and that woman. I thought you were married.
Vaughn: No. She and I are not remotely m-- You thought I was married this whole time?

Sydney: I feel like I'm losing my mind! Like I don't even know who I am anymore, or what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it!
(Her pager suddenly beeps. Sydney grabs it, and throws it in the water below them.)
Vaughn: You just threw your beeper in the Pacific.
Sydney: (laughs through tears) I know...
Vaughn: Okay, listen to me. There's something you need to know. When you first walked into my office with that stupid Bozo hair, I thought you were crazy. I thought you might actually be a crazy person. But I watched you, and I read your statement, and I've seen... I've seen how you think, I've seen how you work, I've seen how you are in this job. In this job, you see darkness. You see the worst in people and though the jobs are different and the missions change, and the enemies have a thousand names, the one crucial thing, the one real responsibility you have is to not let your rage, and your resentment, and your disgust, darken you. When you're at your absolute lowest, at your most depressed, just remember that you can always... you know. You got my number.
(A few seconds pass. Sydney grabs Vaughn's hand, and holds on tight.)

Vaughn: That's insane!
Sydney: No kidding.
Vaughn: Dixon just pulled it out of him.
Sydney: Yeah!
Vaughn: Pulled a bomb out of Dhiren Patel.
Sydney: The very one.
Vaughn: Damn.
Sydney: Yeah.

(At SD-6, Marshall is listening to music in his office on some headphones, typing on a keyboard. He bops along to the music. Sloane enters. He takes them off, startled.)
Marshall: Whoa. Hey, company. (Jumps up) Uh, here. I'm totally a mess in here. Sorry. Let me just--I wasn't really expecting anyone!
(He clears off a jacket that was on a big red inflatable chair. It should belong in a college dorm, really. Sloane stares at him.)
Marshall: Want to have a seat? I got a minor form of scoliosis, so the air ergonomically hugs me. (Hugs himself) Oh, you want to stretch out? I can inflate the couch.

(In her house, Sydney looks through her hat box full of pictures and memories. She sees the newspaper article about her mother and the FBI agent dying in the car accident. Takes out a framed picture. She finally finds the picture of Sydney as a little girl and her mother.)
Sydney: (voice over) There's something that happens when you discover the truth about someone. I know a little about this.
(She wads up the picture in a little ball.)
Sydney: (voice over) The truth changes everything.
(She throws it in the fire.)

Vaughn: You know what? This might shock you, but my business is not your business.
Haladki: I'm looking out for the good of the agency!
Vaughn: Yeah? Then you should quit!
Haladki: Stay out of my way!
(He starts to walk away but Vaughn grabs him by the shoulder, pulling him back.)
Vaughn: Did it make you feel better about yourself, telling Barnett I got Sydney a Christmas gift?
Haladki: You're too emotionally attached to that woman!
Vaughn: Oh, like you would know anything about being emotionally attached to a woman!
Haladki: I think your judgements impaired!
Vaughn: I think I'm gonna kick your ass!

Sydney: I just wanted to rip his finger right off again.
(Vaughn chuckles.)
Sydney: Does that make me a bad person?
Vaughn: No. That might have blown your cover.

Vaughn: Yeah. Last week, when you talked about quitting SD-6--
Sydney: I was being naive.
Vaughn: No, but, um, what you said about wanting to go to a hockey game... wanting me to be part of your life... I, uh, I think I wasn't clear about something. (pause) That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you. Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game. I-I just... I wasn't clear that I would really like that, too.

(Will walks up to his desk just as Abby walks up with a small cake and a lit candle on it.)
Abby: Well, well, look who it is!
Will: Abby, what is this?
Abby: Oh, false modesty. Hideous. It doesn't suit you.
Will: This isn't for the most inspirational article thing, is it?
Abby: Pretty dense for the man who wrote the most inspirational article. You don't deserve to win any awards.
Will: I know.
Abby: Congratulations.
Will: Thank you.
Abby: You make me sick, FYI.
Will: I know. I make myself sick.
Abby: Ten years I've been at this, and what do I win?
Will: I know...
Abby: Tickets to "The Lion King" on the radio.
Will: You never invited me to that.
Abby: Oh, imagine that!
Will: Thank you for the cake. I'm going to go get us some plates.
Abby: I expect a piece, yes. It's chocolate. Maybe you can write an article about this cake and win something else.

Francie: "Dear Aunt Stephanie. Unfortunately, as my mother has informed you, the wedding is off so I am returning your kind gift of a coffee maker because, as it turns out, the man to whom I was engaged is a deceitful, two-faced, sex-crazed jackass. All my love, Francie."
Sydney: It's not too harsh.
Francie: I want to read you one more. This is the restrained one.
(The phone rings.)
Francie: Hello?
Voice: Joey's Pizza?
Francie: You know, this is Joey's Pizza. You want to hear our specials?

Vaughn: Hey, what did you say before about Haladki?
Weiss: I don't think he showers?

Devlin: Are you suggesting that I approve the theft of priceless works of art?
Vaughn: You see, sir, we would just be borrowing them.

Sydney: You're NOT bringing him into this life!
Vaughn: He is in this life now. Whether you like it or not.
Sydney: He is my friend. He is, like, one of my best friends.
Vaughn: I understand that.
Sydney: No, you don't. You get to tell your friends that you work for the CIA while I go home and look desperately for a tiny moment that I can be honest with anyone about anything. Now that Will knows the truth... he's never going to trust me again. You should have seen his face in Paris. It was like he was looking at a stranger.
Vaughn: But he wasn't. He was looking at you. Maybe for the first time, he was looking at you.

Sydney: Hi. How did you find me?
Vaughn: You told me a couple of months ago that when you feel the need to disappear, you go to the observatory. But the observatory was closed. And then I remembered you said the pier calms you down. But you weren't there. And you weren't at the bluffs and the palisades, either.
Sydney: You didn't really go to all those places.
Vaughn: Yeah, I did. And then I remembered you liked the train station, too. Normal people going to their normal jobs.
Sydney: I can't believe you remember that.

(Will leaps to his feet and knocks down the guards. He takes the needle from the tray beside him and lunges at Suit and Glasses. He stabs him in the neck with the needle.)
Will: One in five, you little bitch! ONE IN FIVE!
(The guards scramble and get up. They come after him but Will elbows them in the face.)
Will: One in FIVE!
(Will crazy laughs as the guards get up again and drag him out of the room.)
Will: (high pitched laughter) ONE IN FIVE!


Acknowledgments

Thanks to "freelancer", "Estella", "Kate Vartan", "Deena", "Rafiki", and Kim for sending quotes to add to this page! Thanks also to everyone who voted in the quotes polls.


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