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Alias Top Tens - Fan Contributions

Look out, David Letterman! Some Alias fans just might take over your job.


*A guy could be in love with you if he:

10. Tells you that you have his number

9. Tells you he is your ally

8. Always answers your midnight calls and goes wherever you want to meet him

7. Doesn't care about your family history

6. Buys you antiques

5. He goes to the shrink to discuss your relationship

4. Remembers all the places you go when you are down

3. Shows you a watch that doesn't work

2. Goes into a building full of terrorists by himself just to save you

1. Volunteers to go to the other end of the world, disobeying orders, to save a guy that he doesn't even know just because that guy is your friend


**Top Ten Ways Sark Celebrates Thanksgiving:

10. Kills anyone who gets ham before him.

9. Eats his meat undercooked so he can get a laugh out of the blood.

8. Tries to get a date with Sydney.

7. Tortures Vaughn by stuffing his face with meat.

6. Has wild turkeys assassinate his father.

5. Makes love with Lauren in a turkey costume.

4. Actually wears something other than black.

3. Doesn't talk like a servant for once.

2. Doesn't kill anyone.

1. Tortures turkeys for intel on meat prices.


**Top Ten Ways Irina Celebrates Halloween:

10. Scares little kids with her gun.

9. Tricks the CIA into letting her go.

8. Plays ding-dong ditch with Sydney.

7. Gives candy to Syd but it's really a tracking device.

6. Dresses up in a prisoner costume.

5. Shoots her daughter in the shoulder.

4. Makes out with Sloane.

3. Creates another "problem" child.

2. Turns herself in.

1. Drives off a cliff and pretends to be dead.


***Top Ten New Jobs for Will Tippin

10. Guy Who Covers for Sydney With Francie

9. Exterminator for the Storage Facility (that cricket's gotta go!)

8. CIA Informant: What's in Sydney's Dresser?

7. Salesman for Nokia

6. Becoming an ACTUAL mole.

5. Bait. Jack's Bait.

4. Ghostwriting Sydney's term papers (How long has it BEEN since she's been at school?!)

3. Voice Over Guy for New Opening Sequence

2. Replacing guy pretending to be homeless all day in case Sydney wants to get into the building

1. Giant Hamburger


***Top Ten New Call Signs for Sydney

10. I sure as hell am NOT a double agent!

9. 99

8. Daughter of "The Man"/The Mini-Man (tie)

7. Runs-a-lot

6. Dave

5. Sloane-hater

4. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, or Blitzen

3. Pink Ranger

2. Double-O-Blond (only works w/ the blond wig)

1. What's wrong with just plain "Sydney"?


***Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear on Alias

10. Sark: "I'm really not a bad guy, I'm just misunderstood."

9. Jack: "There's something else I haven't told you."

8. Francie: "Syd, I have something to confess: I work for a place called K-Directorate."

7. Sydney: "I finished my paper early, Professor, and I did the extra credit as well."

6. Will: "That Agent Vaughn is one good-looking man."

5. Dixon: "Why are you always on Point?"

4. Sloan: "Sydney, you've earned a break. Absolutely no field work for six months."

3. Marshall: "Just take a big gun or something."

2. Irina: "Actually, I'm a Mountee. I was sent by Canada to pretend to be a KGB officer pretending to be an American housewife to steal secrets from the CIA."

1. Voice-Over-Guy: "Next week, Alias is a repeat."


Acknowledgments

* Thanks to Alejandra for this one!
** Thanks to Deena for these two!
***Thanks to Grace for writing these and to Kate for sending them to me.


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