Many thanks to Spectra16 for these!
~The number 47 comes up, and you freak out.
~The day your watch stops, you claim you met your soul mate.
~You constantly finding yourself questioning your friends with obvious
answers, just to make sure your friend isn't some one else, but
genetically altered to look like your friend.
~The only man you've ever truly loved gets taken away by a beautiful
blonde named Lauren. (Wow, that was ironic.)
~Whenever someone says "sock", you think of the British
pronunciation of Mr. Sark.
~If your dad has some weird rash, you test him for radiation poisoning.
~You wonder if your boss has killed anyone lately.
~You make sure that if you're doing something you shouldn't be, you
don't do it in front of a TV that might really have a camera in it.
~When you wanna talk about something private with someone, you grab
them and pull them over to a corner and murmur suspiciously.
~On the phone, when you wanna switch lines, you claim to be going
"radio silent".
~When trying to get attention, you strut into the room, pouting like a
goldfish on steroids.
~You often switch hair styles because it will confuse people.
~You avoid people named "Sloane".
~If you get fired from your job because of playing Playstation 2, then
you're about to be recruited by a top secret branch of the CIA.
~You know the only real way to propose is to do a drum solo.
~You ask your boss is he would like to sit in your inflatable chair.
~You want to be married by a Mammal Priest.
~You find yourself asking strange questions about your childhood. (What
was I for the Thanksgiving play? Was I a pilgrim? Or a turducken? Or
was I a tree? Where have I seen this strange puzzle before? And why is
dad talking about Christmas in the middle of June?)
~Taking your boyfriend to a hockey game is your first date.
~Taking your boyfriend to a French restaurant and getting shot at my
terrorists is your second date.
~Your only excuse for missing dentist appointments is because your
dentist is Asian.
~When someone rather annoying asks you out, you tell him you want to
cut his kneecaps off.
~The only way to save your wife from an evil extortionist group that
YOU joined, is to cut off her finger.
