Laugh Lines, Love Lines

War Zone  

Cordelia: Mmmah. I've missed that smell.
Wesley: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia: What? No. Money. I like to smell a little money once and awhile.
Angel: She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office some time and watch her. It's uncanny.

Angel: Thanks for having us.
David: It's a pleasure. Who are you?

David: I've always said that I could make a billion dollars in the software and learn to talk to girls. I'm...still working on step 2.

David: Are you familiar with Dungeons & Dragons?
Angel: Yeah, I've seen a few.
Wesley: You mean the, uh, role playing game.
Angel: Oh. Game. Right.

David: I used to play a lot in high school. You know, it was pretty cool. Get to be someone else for a while -- a wizard, a warrior, you know, whole world is magic, and you're fighting troglodytes and romancing exotic demon princesses. You know, it's a rush.
Cordelia: Did someone find out you were a big nerd?
David: No, that's actually public record.

David: Some of us got really into it. Especially the demon romance part. And we heard about this place where the real...The guys were joking about getting some tail.
Wesley: You went to Madame Dorian's.
David: Just once.
Wesley: It's a demon brothel.
David: Or twice.
Wesley: In Bel Air, I believe. The Watcher's Council is rife with stories about it.
Angel: How many...
David: Twelve times.
Angel: ...people knew about you doing it?

Cordelia: Don't worry, we're incredibly discreet. We'll mingle here for a few hours so no one suspects.

David: When I moved here, I thought it was all glamour and valet parking. There's a whole world here that no one ever sees.
Angel: More than one.

Madame Dorian: We don't do vampires.
Angel: I just came to talk.
Madame Dorian: We don't do that either.

Lenny: What do you want?
Angel: Good question. What do I want. Love, family, place on this planet I can call my own. But you know what?
Lenny: What?
Angel: I'm never going to have any of those things. And unless these few minutes go exactly the way I want them to, neither are you.

Cordelia: I like David. It's such a strong, masculine name. Just...feels good in your mouth.

Angel: Ow! You know, for some reason, I'm getting the impression you don't like me too much. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

Wesley: Oh my.
Angel: It's upside down.
Wesley: Certainly not something you ought to have framed.
Cordelia: How does that feel?
Wesley: I can't possibly imagine it was pleasant.
Cordelia: I was talking to Angel.

Cordelia: You look...
Angel: Like I've been beaten and stabbed?
Cordelia: Want to see the check again?

Wesley: I can certainly understand their stake first and ask questions later state of mind. That's how they survive.
Cordelia: And the idea of a vampire in a white hat probably seems a little gimme-a-break-y.

Angel: Ah. Ah. Can I just see that check again?

Gunn: The guy bugs me, Alana.
Alana: Everybody bugs you.
Gunn: You bug me the most!

Cordelia: You know, there's nothing like riding in a convertible with the top down to make you see the sun and sand. Mmmm. Smell that salt air.
Wesley: That's not salt.
Cordelia: I don't think it's air, either.

Cordelia: Reality is a choice, Wesley. You see what you want to see, and I'll see what I want to see.
Wesley: A man exiting an alley pushing a shopping cart.
Cordelia: No, I see a very tan lifeguard type with large...

Wesley: You ask this gentleman if he's seen anyone that fits the description of our young vampire killers, while I check the power line for any taps.
Cordelia: Uh, why don't you ask him and I'll check for taps?
Wesley: Because you can imagine him as a scantily clad buff young stud, while I'm stuck with the naked truth.

Gunn: I don't need advice from some middle class white dude that's dead!

Alana: On this side, there's no guilt, no grief. Just the hunt and the kill. And the fun!

Cordelia: Trying to open that? They locked you in, huh?
Angel: No. I just love old meat lockers.
Wesley: You should have tried to call us on your cell phone...You probably forgot you had it.
Angel: These things hardly ever work. Besides it was a lot easier and quicker to just...Look, I'm the boss here. I say when we use the cell phones, and people are gonna die, and I have to go.
Cordelia: You're welcome.

Wesley: I asked for a coffee. I know it must be in here someplace.

Wesley: Certainly gives one a sense of perspective, doesn't it?
Cordelia: Yes. It does. And I think, perspectively speaking, I might want to prostitute myself to billionaire David Nabbit.
Wesley: Cordelia!
Cordelia: What I mean is, he's a nice guy who wants companionship. I could use some security. So when I say "prostitute," what I mean is...
Wesley: Prostitute.
Cordelia: For instance.

Wesley: Do you think you really could?
Cordelia: I dunno. I could probably learn to love him. Looks aren't everything. Chemistry. Personality, that's important. And except for a lot of...other...It's not what's on the outside that...Nah. Never mind.

Angel: I'll be around.
Gunn: I don't need no help.
Angel: I might.

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