Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Tough Love  

Buffy: No. I'm sorry I missed the lecture. Was it good? I mean, I'm sure it was...

Xander: Honey, old saying: "A watched customer never buys."
Anya: They would if they were patriotic.
Xander: Okay, I'm going in. Patriotic?
Anya: Yes. I've recently come to realize there's more to me than just being human. I'm also an American.
Giles: I suppose you are, in a matter of speaking. You were born here. Your mortal self.
Anya: That's right, foreigner.

Xander: Ahn, how 'bout we try being a bit less prejudiced and a bit more inclusive? Not us, just you.

Xander: And that's cool too. Whatever you choose, you've got my support. Just think of me as...as your... You know, I'm searching for 'supportive things' and I'm coming up all bras. So. Something slightly more manly preferably, think of me as that. Seriously, whatever you need.

Buffy: I try. My foot's not used to being put down. I want you to do it. Can't you be the foot-putting-downer?
Giles: No, Buffy, I don't think so.
Buffy: Please? Pretty please? C'mon, your feet are way bigger than mine! I mean, you're so much more a grown-up than me. She needs an authority figure, a strong guiding hand. She'll listen to you--
Giles: Just like you always have?
Buffy: I listen ... I do.

Willow: I know it is. And I'm a big fan of school. You know me, I'm all: 'Go school, it's your birthday'! Or something to that effect.

Willow: Sure it is! I'd totally be blowing off classes if I was in Dawnie's shoes.
Tara: Sweetie, you wouldn't blow off class if your head was on fire.

Tara: No, please, if I... I mean, tell me if I said something wrong. Otherwise I know I'll say it again, probably often and in public.

Willow: Well I took Psyche 101 -- I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation right before the final -- but I know what a Freudian slip is.

Spike: I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil.
Dawn: Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm not evil but I don't think I can be good.
Spike: Well, I'm not good and I'm okay.

Willow: Yeah, I know. But it's a whole night and I don't think I can sleep without her.
Anya: You can sleep with me. You know, that came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head.

Glory: Did anybody order an apocalypse?

Spike: So, you're saying a powerful and mightily pissed-off witch was planning to go out and spill herself a few pints of god blood until you...explained?
Buffy: You think she'd...? No. I told Willow, fighting Glory'd be suicide...
Spike: I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it.

Buffy: Eggplant, that's me. And, what is this, peanut butter and... ew, salami, Dawn?
Dawn: Yeah, like eggplant is normal. It's what - half-egg, half-plant? 'Cause that's just unnatural.

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