Laugh Lines, Love Lines

There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb  

Cordelia: No, no, I like the filthy head-- that is, I need to defile it more. I will keep it to spit upon and when I tire of that I will make it into a planter -- a traitor planter for all to see! Or maybe a candy dish.

Host: Oh I'm sure it must be, and after all I only LOST MY HEAD! Or, technically, my body.

Gunn: We die horribly and painfully, you go to hell and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
Wesley: Oh.

Fred: I've been trying to make an enchilada out of tree bark...
Angel: Bark enchilada? How's that going?
Fred: There's work to be done.

Fred: They're not words. They're consonant representations of a mathematical transfiguration formula.
Angel: Well obviously...

Rebel: Five cheers for the other-worlders.
Wesley: Oooo, in this world you get five.

Cordelia: Boy that looks a lot like your suit.
Host: It is my suit, you think they have French Viscose in this hell hole? Why am I still alive? Once they chop you up, it's over. I'm looking at pieces of myself, it's over... Wait a minute, since when do I have five toes?

Cordelia: Do you mind if I hit him over the head with you?
Host: Yes.

Wesley: Why do people keep putting me in charge of things?
Gunn: I have no idea.

Angel: I don't actually know how to get there.
Fred: Oh, I can show you.

Gunn: He's Angel, he does that --how'd she do that?
Angel: She's Fred, she does that, too.

Angel: He was ...
Gunn: Yeah ...
Wesley: Mmm ...
Host: That's it? Where's the praising and extolling of my virtues? Where's the love?

Angel: When I fired you guys, the reason I... the darkness was coming out in me, I didn't want you near it. The thing that comes out here is ten times worse.

Angel: I challenge the Groosalugg to mortal combat. Come out and face me, you spineless coward!
Fred: Ooo, why'd you add that coward thing, that's just gonna piss him off.

Angel: All right, what part of my being all noble here didn't get through?

Cordelia: Stop! Stop the fight! Don't hurt him, I love him, I LOVE HIM!
Angel: You love me?
Cordelia: Not you, dumbass, HIM! I love him!
Angel: Oh.

Angel: But you love me too, right?
Cordelia: Are you all right? Did he hurt you?
Angel: As a friend and co-worker...
Cordelia: What did he do to you? Let's get some bandages over here, people!
Angel: Maybe love is too strong a term.

Host: Good as new -- although I seem to have put on about a hundred and fifty eight pounds.

Angel: Isn't there something you want to say to your mother?
Host: "May you burn in Tarkna?"
Angel: Come on, she's not so bad, she didn't store your body on the maggot heap like you thought she would, did she?
Host: Bye Mom, thanks for storing my body on the lice pile instead of the maggot heap.

Angel: Every family's got its problems.
Mother: Numfar, do the dance of shame!
Angel: Yours more than most.

Host: I had to come back here to find out I didn't have to come back here, I don't belong here, I hate it here. You know where I belong? L.A. You know why? Nobody belongs there, it's the perfect place for guys like us.
Angel: That's kinda beautiful.
Host: Ain't it?

Wesley: Should people be kneeling in a free society?
Cordelia: These things take time.

Angel: Willow?
Cordelia: Hi. What's...
Angel: It's Buffy...

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