Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Teacher's Pet  

Xander: Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff!
Willow: You think he's buff?
Xander: He's a very attractive man! How come that never came up?

Buffy: Well! Look who's here!
Angel: Hi.
Buffy: I'd say it's nice to see you, but then we both know that's a big fib.
Angel: I won't be long.
Buffy: No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe, and then disappear into the night. Right?
Angel: You're cold.
Buffy: You can take it.
Angel: I mean, you look cold.

Xander: Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there!

Buffy: What happened?
Angel: I didn't pay attention.
Buffy: To somebody with a big fork?
Angel: He's coming.
Buffy: The Fork Guy?
Angel: Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out.
Buffy: Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic!
Angel: I have to go.
Buffy: Sweet dreams to you, too.

Giles: That's all he said? Fork Guy?
Buffy: That's all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy.
Giles: I think there are too many guys in your life.

Xander: It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.

Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart.
Willow: Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs.

Xander: I wonder what she sees in me? It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism.

Buffy: Yes, I lied, I'm a bad person, let's move on.

Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander's not a, uh...I mean, he's probably...
Willow: ...gonna die!

Xander: ...I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway?

Buffy: Well...Anyway, you can have your jacket back.
Angel: It looks better on you.
Buffy: Oh boy.

Quotes Index  

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