Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Spin the Bottle  

Angel: I was never - in the workplace, I - Well, there was that one time with the - the ballet and the stripping and the roundness, but that was a spell. And-and we were meeting in Malibu on the bluffs at night. That's a pretty romantic restraining order!

Cordelia: I know my ABC's, my history, I know who's President, and that I sorta wish I didn't.

Gunn: Oh, good. Symbols on the floor. That's always good.
Lorne: Check your sarcasm at the door, pouty britches.

Wesley: Did I miss the spell? Did English go away?

Gunn: What happened to you, man?
Wesley: I had my throat cut and all my friends abandoned me.

Cordelia: Hello, salty goodness.

Gunn: I'm the guy that's gonna be kicking a whole mess of ass if somebody don't tell me what's going on.
Cordelia: What do they call you for short?

Wesley: There's no need to be snippety, Miss.
Cordelia: This is a clarion call for snippety, Princess Charles.

Cordelia: You don't sound Irish?
Angel: For most certain, I sound exactly - Something wrong with my voice.

Wesley: Perhaps the whole point of this experiment is hair.
Gunn: I vote he's not in charge.

Angel: I knew it. It's the devil.
Fred: Why is the devil sleepy?

Cordelia: Hey. Hey, you two want to stop the homo-erotic buddy cop session long enough to explain this.

Angel: It's about time the English got what's comin' to 'em. I'm rootin' for the slave.

Lorne: Ugh. I know I'm still unconscious during this part of the story, but... can you believe these mooks?

Cordelia: I kinda have filled out even more.
Fred: And - I apparently ain't gonna.

Cordelia: This is so unfair! I'm a craggy 20-something? What about prom?!

Fred: So, you think, if we kill this vampire, they take off the spell whammy and we can go back to being ourselves?
Cordelia: And never see each other again?
Wesley: I believe we can all just go about our business.
Cordelia: And never see each other again?

Cordelia: Great. I'll go with tall, dark, and slightly less pathetic than you two here.

Fred: I'm ready. I'm OK. Be cooler if we could score some weed, though.

Angel: How did - ? You stopped the tiny men from singing.
Cordelia: You really are far from home, aren't you?

Angel: Sorry for acting so... womanish.

Angel: I'm invisible.
Cordelia: No, you're not.
Angel: Oh. Excuse me.

Angel: I'm a vampire. They're gonna kill me.

Wesley: I'm not quite finished. I think it's only fair that everybody have a turn. The cross obviously doesn't affect me or our friend, the pugilist.
Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up.

Lorne: Hey, here's a funny sidebar. I'm tied to a chair - again!

Angel: Well, I-I never touched her.
Cordelia: So, clearly, deviant.

Cordelia: What do you mean, it's hard? I mean, she's the tasty one. Look at her. Half of her is neck.

Cordelia: Well, who wouldn't? Look, you're a wee bit chess club for my usual beat, but you kill that freak and you're getting a big reward.
Connor: You mean it?
Cordelia: Hoo doggy!

Angel: I'm supposed to be evil, but they attack me without cause. They gang up on me because I'm different. They're as bad as my father.
Connor: Fathers. Don't they suck?

Angel: Is he a self-righteous bastard?
Connor: You'd be amazed.

Angel: I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be attacked. I didn't ask to be a freak. Hell, I didn't even ask to be born.

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