Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Smile Time  

Nina: I told her I was going camping in the desert again. She's starting to worry I've turned into some New Age-y, moon-worshipping Wicca person.
Angel: Might be relieved to find out that you're just a werewolf.

Angel: She asked me to breakfast.
Wesley: Breakfast. Right. How did you respond?
Angel: Well ... of course I ignored it completely, changed the subject, and locked her in a cage.

Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen.
Wesley: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy. That guy is charming and funny and...emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit and the 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley: Get over it!

Wesley: If what? If you achieve a moment of perfect happiness?
Angel: I turn back into Angelus, and we don't want that... What?
Wesley: Ninety nine point nine nine nine ad infinitum percent of the best relationships in the recorded history of the world have had to make do with acceptable happiness.

Angel: Why are you yelling at me?
Wesley: Because! Angel, if there's a woman out there who you find truly attractive, who you think about, let's say, most of the time. Who represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for ... and who doesn't view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on ... you have to do something about it.
Angel: Who are we talking about here?

Fred: Angel, you're ... cute!
Angel Puppet: Fred, don't.
Fred: Oh, but the little hands! And the hair ...
Angel Puppet: Hey! You're fired.

Angel Puppet: I want helicopters and tear gas!
Gunn: Angel--
Angel Puppet: This is war!
Lorne: Angel, baby, muppet, pumpkin - this show is number one in its time slot. Tykes love it all across the southland: we can't just toss a jihad at their studio.

Framkin: And if your intent is to pressure me, extort money, do any of the things your firm is famous for, well, I'm afraid you're in for a fight.
Lorne: Yeah? Well, a fight suits us just fine, Papa Smurf. We're gonna let the entire world know what you're up to.
Framkin: "Up to"? Gentlemen, I bring joy and laughter to children. You bring tax exemptions to nasty corporations, acquittals to the clearly guilty. Frankly, I doubt the world wants to hear from you.

Nina: This may sound cliché coming from an art school chick, but the vampire thing's kind of sexy.
Angel Puppet: It all sounds good - but that's not how I feel.
Nina: I know. That's what I like about you.

Doctor: Currently, I have a lot of capital sunk into a shipment that's being held up at customs.
Gunn: Drugs?
Doctor: Goodness, no. I make my own drugs.

Knox: What's up with you two? The tracks are clear. We ran it through every filter we've got.
Wesley: That's not how magic works, Knox.
Knox: Really . . Merlin? Then how does magic work?

Wesley: I see. You're looking for someone funny.
Fred: A certain kind of funny - yeah. But ... I'm not really looking for so much as looking at--
Wesley (notices something on the videotape): Hang on. Go back a second. There's something different.

Polo: So. You got a little demon in you.
Angel Puppet: I got a lot of demon in me.

Quotes Index  

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