Laugh Lines, Love Lines

I Robot, You Jane  

Giles: Uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it.
Ms. Calendar: Scan it, Rupert. That's scan it.

Ms. Calendar: Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!
Giles: Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.
Ms. Calendar: That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box!

Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.
Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave?

Xander: But you're gonna be missin' out. I'm plannin' to be witty. I'm gonna make fun of all the people who won't talk to me.

Buffy: I'm telling you, something is going on. It's not just Willow. Dave, Fritz, they're all wicked jumpy.
Giles: Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is.

Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. What, I can't have information sometimes?
Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented.

Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.

Buffy: Tell me the truth: how's my hair?
Xander: It's great! It's your best hair ever!

Buffy: He's gone binary on us.

Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.

Moloch: Don't you see? I can give you everything! I can control the world! Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother's life. Good for him!

Xander: Hey! I got to hit someone!

Giles: Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.
Ms. Calendar: That's not where I dangle it.

Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I've moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis?
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!

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