Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Reptile Boy  

Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water.
Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.

Buffy: No. I think you don't know what it's like to be sixteen. And a girl. And the Slayer.

Buffy: Or what it's like to have to stake vampires while you're having fuzzy feelings towards one?
Giles: Uh...
Buffy: Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life.

Tom: Well, sure, of course you are. Well, thanks for letting me ramble.
Buffy: Y'know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble.

Angel: What are you sayin', you wanna have a date?
Buffy: No.
Angel: You don't wanna have a date?
Buffy: Who said 'date'? I-I-I never said 'date'.
Angel: Right. You just wanna have coffee or somethin'.
Buffy: Coffee?
Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one.
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want...
Buffy: Oh. No, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date you and I both know one thing's gonna lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just tryin' to protect you. This could get outta control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.

Buffy: I-I'm not going with Angel. I'm going with -- ye gods -- Cordelia.
Willow: Cordelia?! Did I sound a little jealous just then, 'cause I'm not really... Cordelia?!
Xander: Cordelia's much better for you than Angel.
Willow: What happened with Angel?
Buffy: Nothing, as usual. A whole lotta nothing with Angel.
Xander: Bummer.
Willow: I don't understand. I mean, he likes you. More than likes.
Buffy: Angel barely says two words to me.
Xander: Don't you hate that?
Buffy: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.
Xander: That bastard!
Buffy: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.
Xander: Yeah! Tom? Who's Tom?
Willow: The frat guy.

Buffy: Angel showed up. He could smell it.
Xander: The blood? There's a guy you wanna party with.

Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?

Xander: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight?

Willow: I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.
Xander: Buffy's lying, Buffy's going to frat parties... That's not askew, that's cockeyed.
Willow: Askew means cockeyed.

Tom: No. We're not all a bunch of drunken louts. Some of us are sober louts.

Willow: Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?

Giles: She lied to me?
Willow: Well...
Angel: Did... she have a date?
Willow: Well... Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! And you, you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?! Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.

Xander: One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. And on that day they'll still have more.

Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey, man, how you doin'?

Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Xander: Xander!
Angel: I hear this place, uh, serves coffee. I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.
Buffy: Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.

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