Laugh Lines, Love Lines


Angelus: After I rip out your windpipe till it stops making that annoying talky sound.

Angelus: Why the stalling? You whipped up a rain of fire, blotted out the sun, earthquakes...all to maneuver the Brady Bunch into releasing Angel's inner me. Don't you wanna kick the tires?
BeastMaster: So beautifully vain, but the whirlwind doesn't always revolve around you. Destruction sometimes is its own reward.
Angelus: Hey, man, you're preaching to the guy who ate the choir.

BeastMaster: I have wonderful plans for you, my sweet boy.
Angelus: Um, yeah, but the thing is, as far as plans go, I make my own. So, you know, thanks for stopping by my head.

Angelus: Defy who? A big, scary voice? Whoa! Hey, I've got one of those, too. You want to hear it? You can kiss my vampire ass! That do anything for ya?

[Gunn passes out tranquilizer guns.]
Gunn: Meet your new best friend. If super-bad shows up, the sanctuary spell should keep us safe, but--
Fred: But? There's always a "but." When this is over, can we have a big "but" moratorium?
Lorne: Did I mention the only shots I'm good at involve tequila?

Faith: Right. Uh, sorry about your bathroom. Come on, let's do it.
Wesley: I'm not worried about the bathroom. Although I'm fairly sure my security deposit's a complete loss...

Gunn: All I'm saying is, he tries dancing in here and pulling a Dark Shadows again, he's gonna get a dart up his evil ass.
Fred: Well, his ass moves pretty quick. He got the book and the Wolfram and Hart papers.

Faith: Start with a perimeter sweep. I'll take point. Stay frosty. If he's still in the area--
Wesley: You'll let him escape again?
Faith: This coming from the boy hostage?

BeastMaster: Do you think me blind, little man? That I don't see every move before you decide to make it? Dare to seek me out again, and your insolence will be punished ten-fold.
Angelus: Yeah, what're you gonna do, huh? Give me a migraine?

Angelus: Oh, that's great! You made me lose my shopkeeper.

Wesley: Oh, you have a problem with a little torture now? I seem to recall a time when you rather enjoyed it.

Lorne: Smacked in the noggin with a 2x4 wrapped in velvet. Yeah, that's what it felt like.
Fred: I am so so beyond sorry.
Lorne: Oh, go on. It's the first good nap I've had since the apocalypse started. So what'd I miss?

Lorne: Hey, one for the good guys.
Fred: And take two away. I let Angelus walk with Lilah's book and everything Wolfram and Hart suckered out of your brain.
Lorne: I was gonna have those framed.

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