Laugh Lines, Love Lines


Cordelia (rubbing her belly): I know it's a bit of a shock. I mean, nobody's more shocked than me. [She looks at Connor] OK, maybe him.

Fred: Still, shouldn't we try and find out...what's in there?
Connor: We already know. Our baby.
Gunn (to Angel): Well, congratulations. You're going to have a grandspawn.

Wesley: They were bound to skulk off to neutral corners.
Gunn: Two vampires hook up and for the only time in vamp history have a kid-- our boy Connor. Then Connor grows up, knocks it out with Cordelia-- a part demon, former higher-being-- and quick as you can say "Easy-Bake Oven", there's a gigantic bun in hers. I don't think we were too harsh.
Fred: The first time Connor tried to attack Angelus, Lorne's sanctuary spell knocked him halfway to Abilene.
Wesley: Which means Connor is at least part-demon.
Lorne: Yeah, well that was before my spell went all Flop-a-palooza.
Fred: Having two part-demon parents might could explain the whoosh factor.
Gunn: Not gonna be long until whoosh turns into pop.
Lorne: Speaking of "pop," don't you think our re-ensouled leader should be a part of this little confab?
Angel: Easy-Bake, flop-a-palooza, whoosh, pop. [to Wesley] I don't skulk.

Angel: We've got two pressing matters: figuring out what we can about Cordelia's pregnancy, and destroying the Beast's master. Lorne, you're--
Lorne: Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie?
Angel: I was gonna say a guy with good contacts.

Gwen: So, I'm in a jam. I can't get out of it alone. I need someone suave, a guy who can handle himself in a tight spot.
Angel: Gwen, I'd love to help--
Gwen (gestures to Gunn): I meant him.

Gunn: You been collecting these for a while?
Gwen: Yeah, I get one each trip. I just brought the dolphin back from Tahiti. You collect anything when you travel?
Gunn: Uh, yeah. I, uh, I got a big ol' scar on my thigh from Boyle Heights... A piece of vamp stake I picked up a while back in Alhambra... And a couple of burn marks on my hip from Encino... Yep, name a town, I'll show you the souvenir.

Gwen: It's gated. Armed guards, infrared surveillance, dogs, the works. If we're gonna have half a chance ... You're gonna have to stop grinning like that and share the joke with the entire class. You think this is impossible?
Gunn: No, I think it's fantastic. Listen, I've spent most of this year trapped in what I can only describe as a turgid supernatural soap opera. The fact that I have a chance to go out and really help somebody...Well, you know, it feels good to be doing good.

Gunn: You tell me. I'm thinking James Bond never looked this fine.
Gwen: I'm thinking you're right.

Gwen: I can explain that. I was struck by lightning. Really. [to Gunn] See how my life sucks?

Gunn: Morimoto-san. Konbanwa.
Morimoto: Konbanwa. Okoshi kudasai arigato gozaimasu.
Gunn: Sorry, didn't follow that last bit. Shot my entire Japanese vocabulary when I said hello.

Fred: But you hated her. Didn't you?
Wesley: It's not always about holding hands.

Cordelia: You know, that never stops creeping me out.
Angel: Yeah? Kind of creeped out myself.

Angel: You don't understand. This thing was in my head. I've heard him, and he's insane enough to pull those kinds of stunts.
Cordelia: When you say "insane," you mean, like, diabolical?
Angel: No, I mean like deluded and demented. He spoke to me in this cheezy, self-important voice. I bet he doesn't even have a master plan -- he's just making it up as he goes along.

Gunn: Now you did it. I'm gonna have to get your lame-ass blood all over my sweet new suit.

Gwen: Nothing's changed, you know. Morimoto's still a bad guy. You're still a good one.
Gunn: You know, I can't believe I actually took time out of the apocalypse for this.

Wesley: I recognize the text. It's an early Fallorian code system. Let's see. "The green... cart-like vehicle... eats...I am not a bucket-head."

Angel: Try this one.
Wesley: Something about... strangling poultry.

Gwen: You seemed pretty clear tonight.
Gunn: Adrenaline rush--when I was trying to save that girl.
Gwen: I meant when you were saving me.
Gunn: Hey, I'm just the muscle.
Gwen: Don't knock the muscle, buddy. Makes the girls go all knocky in the knees.

Gunn: So... if you couldn't touch, guess that means you've never--
Gwen: Nope. Nope ... Anyway, thanks for turning me... off.

Lorne: Has Cordy been a bad, bad girl?

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