Laugh Lines, Love Lines


Angelus: Darlin'?
Darla: What?
Angelus: Shouldn't we be killing Holtz?
Darla: I know, but it's just so much fun ruining his life. He's like family now.

Angel: What's this?
Cordelia: Oh, it's just so dark and lifeless down here; I thought I'd brighten it up a little for you. You can't exactly go out and enjoy the sunny fields of nature, but that doesn't mean we can't bring a little bloom into your darkness.
Angel: They're fake.
Cordelia: Yeah. You put something real in this hellhole and it'd die like that.

Angel: You know, I've been around a long time...
Cordelia: Which reminds me. Next birthday, you think we could skip the two hundred and fifty odd candles on the cake and the inevitable fire marshal and just go and just go with a little song?
Angel: And I've never known anyone like you.

Angel: The end is not coming. Someone is always uncovering some ancient scroll, and they're always saying the same thing: that something terrible is coming. Do you know how many of these things I've seen in my very long life?
Cordelia: Four?
Angel: Three. But there's nothing to worry about.

Cordelia: That the end is coming. Well, all we can do is live each moment to the fullest and be grateful that we didn't throw too much money at the NASDAQ.

Wesley: Yes.
Fred: Wow. What would we do if that happened?
Cordelia: I'd buy him some plaid shirts and take him to the beach. The boy needs some color.

Angel: I was just thinking about things. People. You know. How they relate. Take you and me for instance. We're very different. Very different. Obviously. Human... vampire. Woman... man...pire.
Cordelia: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?
Angel: See? You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in a while, but you...
Cordelia: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: What?
Cordelia: I love you too.
Angel: You do? When did this..?
Cordelia: Angel loves me. I love him.
Angel: Oh, my god!
Cordelia: You guys love us and we love you.
Fred, Wes and Gunn chorus: We love you Angel.
Cordelia: They were all saying it earlier. Just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die. You're not gonna wanna hug, are you?

Angel: That's really all I was trying to say, that we've been through so much together, you and me, as friends. You've seen the good, and the not so good.
Cordelia: Just like you have in me. And for the record: the good I've seen far outweighs the bad.

Cordelia: Hey, what are friends for?
Darla: If you ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry.

Fred: Who's Darla?
Gunn: Angel's old flame from way back.
Fred: Not the one that died?
Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one. The other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Fred: Y'all have a chart or something?
Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.

Angel: Cordy. I'm sorry I lied. It was just - it was a very dark time.
Cordelia: Oh! You used her to make you feel better during your dark time. Well, that makes it all heroic.
Angel: It wasn't like that. It just happened. It wasn't like I went evil or anything, I just...
Cordelia: You just went male.

Angel: Maybe it's a hysterical pregnancy.
Darla: You wanna feel it kick?
Cordelia: Does it kick a lot?
Darla: Like crazy.
Angel: Well, now wouldn't that be the first sign of... hysteria?

Darla: Well, you can get you little gang of supernatural detectives to find out what the hell is happening to me and how to stop it.

Angel: I suggest you use your books and find out what's going on. What, do I have to think of everything?

Cordelia: And here we have three more of Angel's chippies. You girls are on the pill I hope.

Cordelia: Angel boned her.
Angel: Just once. Just the one night. Ah, just the two or three one times that one night...

The Host: This is way beyond my ken and my Barbie and all my action figures.

Angel: I don't see how anything spawned by Darla and me could be good.

Angel: No. Where is she?
Wesley: She got away.
Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but...

Fred: I think he just can't bear to have us see him do it.
Wesley: Kill Darla? She did try to kill Cordy and she's a vampire.
Fred: Who is carrying his child. The one thing he can never have, even if he lives forever.

Fred: Angel's not answering his phone. Should I leave a message on his voice mail?
Cordelia: He doesn't know how to use his voice mail. Just try his pager.

Angel: The child. The child has a heartbeat. It has a soul.
Darla: No! Not my child! No!

Angel: You're not alone in this anymore. We'll deal with this together.
Darla: Gosh. I'm the luckiest vampire girl in the whole world.

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