Joyce: Listen, you two, I know this creamed spinach is pretty delicious, but I promise I won't be offended if you go out for some real food.
Buffy: Are you kidding me? This is the good life. Relaxing in bed while people bring you food on trays.
Dawn: I like the jell-o.
Joyce: Help yourself. There's something about food that moves by itself that gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Dawn: It's good and wiggly. There's a girl at school told me that gelatin is made from ground up cows feet, and that if you eat jell-o there's some cows that are limping with no feet, but I told her I'm sure they kill 'em before they take off their feet... right?
Buffy (to Joyce): You're the one who insisted on teaching her to talk.
Buffy: Waiting? Give me a break. We got tons to do.
Dawn: We have soap operas to watch, and trashy magazines to read.
Buffy: And an adjustable bed to fiddle with. That alone can keep me busy for four hours or so.
Xander: Hey, human chest, human chest!
Giles: Sorry.
Giles: Oh my god, what a rough night.
Willow: Ha haa! I just did two of 'em! Yay on me. That was pretty cool. Except the part where I was all terrified, and now my knees are all dizzy.
Willow: Oh, piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti--Whoops. Maybe it would have been good if he had showed up.
Willow: Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger, and female, and, well, Jewish.
Willow: This is an extra special gift for your mom that I know she'll need: a beer hat!
Willow: And somehow, when I was in the store, this seemed like the most important idea, and now there's the whole part where I'm crazy.
Buffy: You got her a book on spells? The girl who can break things by just looking at them, now has a book to teach her to... break things by looking at 'em?
Willow: Buffy, I have this for you.
Buffy: Homework? Ehh... I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa anymore.
Willow: She'll be all normal all the time.
Dawn: Is that right?
Buffy: Hey, Santa doesn't lie.
Willow: You know what's weird?
Tara: Japanese commercials are weird.
Willow: You know, I used to love to look up at them when I was little. They're supposed to make you feel all insignificant, but they made me feel like... like I was in space, part of the stars.
Joyce: I bet it's not even hooked up to anything. Just like the push buttons at the crosswalk that are supposed to make the signal change.
Buffy: I'm sure someone's on-- What? The push buttons aren't hooked up to anything?
Riley: Heard I missed out on some fun.
Xander: Oh, yeah, fun was had. Also frolic, merriment, and near-death hi-jinks.
Riley: No, it's not hot, it's warm. And broken. And sort of...
Giles: Hollow?
Riley: Yeah.
Anya: So, we're all thinking the same thing, right?
Xander: Festive piņata? Delicious candy?
Willow: Something evil crashed to Earth in this, and then broke out and slithered away to do badness.
Giles: In all fairness, we don't really know about the "slithered" part.
Anya: Oh, no. I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.
Riley: No pulse.
Anya: Yep, the space lamb got him.
Riley: That might be toxic. Don't touch it.
Xander: Oh, yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily, I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving and running like hell.
Willow: So, we'll just figure this out ourselves. We're experienced.
Anya: Yes, 'cause it seems like we're always dealing with creatures from outer space... except that we don't ever do that.
Giles: Perhaps we should explore a bit more. Head into the woods a bit.
Xander: Who votes research?
Anya: Me.
Willow: Research.
Giles: Much better idea.
Riley: Yeah, I think that's a good call.
Riley: Believe me, something jumps out at me in the dark, you'll hear me even without the phone.
Willow: I don't want to be the one that finds the bodies anymore.
Xander: Look at how teeny Mercury is, compared to, like, Saturn. Whereas in contrast, the cars of the same name...
Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot demon.
Giles: Because it's a killer snot demon from outer space. I did not say that.
Giles: Demons enter our world in all sorts of different ways. This one came from above.
Xander: And the university library's astronomy section is the home of aboveness. Got it.
Giles: Well, then, it would appear that the world is not being invaded.
Tara: I'm pretty pleased about that.
Willow: Some witnesses claimed the meteor was hollow.
Xander: Hmm, maybe with a chewy demon center, like ours.
Giles: As if something emerged from the meteors, and quelled the madmen.
Xander: Meteor go boom, crazy guy go bye-bye.
Buffy: What the hell are you doing in my house?
Spike: Right, then... caught me. Your basement's full of junk, and me being in need of... junk...
Buffy: You were stealing?
Spike: Well, yeah. Can't exactly work the counter at Burger Barn, can I?
Buffy: Wait-- are those pictures of me??
Joyce: No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her, that you'll keep her safe, that you'll love her like I love you.
Buffy: I promise.
