Laugh Lines, Love Lines


Health Club Manager: That guy has horns.
Angel: Steroids. Not good for you.

Angel: The thing about a gym is that you're not alone. You've got people around -- encourages you to work out.
Cordelia: You don't have to work out. You're eternal.

Angel: You got your steam; you got your sauna and your fresh towels. I mean, how bad could it be?
Cordelia: You shower with a lot of men.
Angel: I'll always be a loner.

Wesley: Nasty demon, unknown origin.
Angel: Awful lot of that in this town. I'm sure he'll feel right at home.

Lindsey: Angel. He's here in town. You can feel him.
Darla: Always could.

Lindsey: He's taken from both of us. So when you feel ready, we'll start thinking about giving a little back.

Darla: Angel. It's been a long time. I'd love to see that boy.

Cordelia: Don't yell like that. You will scare him.
Wesley: Scare him?
Cordelia: Dennis is very sensitive. He's trying to help. He's more a person than a ...G-H-O-S-T.

Wesley: I may have someone who can help.
Angel: Who?
Wesley: A parasite demon named Merle.
Cordelia: Maybe it's time to pay your stoolie a little visit. Make with the chin music until he canaries...I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo.

Wesley: There's a place he hangs out. A safe haven for demons. I've been meaning to take you there; I think it may be of use for us. But...
Angel: But what?
Wesley: It's a little outside the box.

Cordelia: Your stool pigeon feels safe in a karaoke bar?

Cordelia: Cat got your tongue, Merle?
Merle: I don't have a tongue.
Cordelia: Oh.

Host: Smart and cute. How 'bout gracing us with a number?
Angel: I don't sing.

Cordelia: Who is this guy?
Wesley: He's ... anagogic.
Cordelia: Really? He looks like he's eating enough.

Cordelia: Come on, Angel. I wanna hear you sing.
Angel: No.
Wesley: It would be for a good cause. We might learn something.
Angel: Who's the boss here?

Angel: Three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.

Angel: I help people.
Pregnant Woman: You're kidding, right?

Wesley: Cordelia said he was a nasty.
Cordelia: Well, he looked nasty...

Wesley: What? We're supposed to think a creature like that could change his modus operandi overnight? Turn into some noble protector and... defender of... . oh God.

Cordelia: Thanks for the obscure visions! We're doing great with that.

Gunn: You should probably go home now...Uh. You're welcome!
Angel: People nowadays. Would it kill 'em to say thank you?

Angel: You well?
Gunn: Picture of health and harmony. Look at you, dog. You haven't aged a bit.
Angel: I've got a situation.
Gunn: So much for the small talk.

Angel: You ever hear of a Preomotu?
Gunn: That like the '62 Chevy with the big cam? Alright, I coulda just said no.

Gunn: He was on our side?
Angel: Yeah.
Gunn: Well, did you find the scumbag who killed him?
Angel: I'm the scumbag who killed him.
Gunn: Oh.

Gunn: You gonna hang here and soak up the guilt?

Angel: It's sorta my job.
Pregnant Woman: Your job?
Angel: Yeah! Look. I got cards! And an office. Well, the office kinda blew up, but we're working out of this other apartment in Silverlake, temporarily.

Cordelia: Who is it?
Gunn: Gunn.
Wesley: What was that?
Cordelia: Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun!?
Wesley: Listen up. Whoever you are. We're well-armed and we know how to do battle, so if you know what's good for you...
Cordelia: My name is Gunn. Angel sent me.

Cordelia: Wesley, you've heard Angel talk about Gun. He's a great guy with a really fly street tag.
Wesley: What's he fly?
Cordelia: It's how they know you on the street, dorko. Gun! It really let's you know you mean business.
Gunn: It's my name. Charles Gunn. Two N's.

Cordelia: It's nice to finally meet.
Gunn: I've seen you before.
Cordelia: Really? The Tan-n-Screen commercials!
Gunn: I saw you in bed.
Cordelia: What?!
Wesley: I can see this is none of my business.
Gunn: You, too.
Wesley: Now just a moment!

Gunn: This all the cases you got goin'? Well isn't this the well-oiled machine?
Cordelia: We set 'em up; we knock 'em down. Well, we did until Angel knocked down the wrong... I'm sure he's getting on top of it now.

Cordelia: You can't see everything. You're just a vampire like everyone else... that didn't come out right.

Angel: I thought I was out of the tunnel.
Cordelia: Sure you did. Because the tunnel is... . You know, it's something we all... . Are we talking real tunnel or symbolic? Just give me that much.

Angel: That light was so bright. I thought I was already out.

Cordelia: It's going to be a long while 'til you work your way out. But I know you well enough to know you will. And I'll be with you until you do.
Angel: What about your inevitable stardom?
Cordelia: I'm not saying I won't have a day job.

Angel: Look, we gotta find her right away. Whatever it takes. There's only one way.
[cut to]
Angel: Oh Mandy. Well, you came and you gave without takin'... .

Cordelia: That man will do anything to save a life.

Host: You're just the hot ticket. One night only, two seats left, partially obstructed view.

Host: My question, first -- and answer true because you know I'll know -- why Mandy?
Angel: Well, I-I know the words. I kinda think it's pretty.
Host: And it is ya great big sap! There's not a destroyer of worlds who can argue with Manilow. And good for you for fessin' up.

Pregnant Woman: I really appreciate you helping us like this. But you know how you're not really good at anything? Sure you can do this?
Angel: I grew up around horses.

Angel: Nice horse. Try not to make me looks stupid out there, okay?

Pregnant Woman: You okay?
Angel: Yeah.
Pregnant Woman: You sure seem to bleed a lot.
Angel: Part of the job.

Wesley: Good idea. Start over with a fresh slate.
Angel: Actually, we're starting over with no slate.

Faith: Bad day. One of the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self-esteem and ... a homemade knife, so ... .
Angel: Is she, you know, alive?
Faith: She lives to tell the tale. Took the knife away, and I can't say much for the wrist it came in.

Angel: I had to sing Barry Manilow.
Faith: You're kidding.
Angel: In front of people.
Faith: And here I am talking about my petty little problems.
Angel: Just wanted to give you a little perspective.
Faith: Copacobana?
Angel: Mandy. I don't want to dwell on it.
Faith: The road to redemption is a rocky path.

Quotes Index  

Laugh Lines, Love Lines is a rusted-crush.com production. This completely unofficial, fan-run website is a display of admiration, and we gratefully acknowledge the sources that have helped make this site and this layout possible. No infringement of any kind is intended. Got questions? Check the F.A.Q for F.G.A (Frequently Given Answers).