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 Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Judgment  

Health Club Manager: That guy has horns.
Angel: Steroids. Not good for you.

Angel: The thing about a gym is that you're not alone. You've got people around -- encourages you to work out.
Cordelia: You don't have to work out. You're eternal.

Angel: You got your steam; you got your sauna and your fresh towels. I mean, how bad could it be?
Cordelia: You shower with a lot of men.
Angel: I'll always be a loner.

Wesley: Nasty demon, unknown origin.
Angel: Awful lot of that in this town. I'm sure he'll feel right at home.

Lindsey: Angel. He's here in town. You can feel him.
Darla: Always could.

Lindsey: He's taken from both of us. So when you feel ready, we'll start thinking about giving a little back.

Darla: Angel. It's been a long time. I'd love to see that boy.

Cordelia: Don't yell like that. You will scare him.
Wesley: Scare him?
Cordelia: Dennis is very sensitive. He's trying to help. He's more a person than a ...G-H-O-S-T.

Wesley: I may have someone who can help.
Angel: Who?
Wesley: A parasite demon named Merle.
Cordelia: Maybe it's time to pay your stoolie a little visit. Make with the chin music until he canaries...I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo.

Wesley: There's a place he hangs out. A safe haven for demons. I've been meaning to take you there; I think it may be of use for us. But...
Angel: But what?
Wesley: It's a little outside the box.

Cordelia: Your stool pigeon feels safe in a karaoke bar?

Cordelia: Cat got your tongue, Merle?
Merle: I don't have a tongue.
Cordelia: Oh.

Host: Smart and cute. How 'bout gracing us with a number?
Angel: I don't sing.

Cordelia: Who is this guy?
Wesley: He's ... anagogic.
Cordelia: Really? He looks like he's eating enough.

Cordelia: Come on, Angel. I wanna hear you sing.
Angel: No.
Wesley: It would be for a good cause. We might learn something.
Angel: Who's the boss here?

Angel: Three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.

Angel: I help people.
Pregnant Woman: You're kidding, right?

Wesley: Cordelia said he was a nasty.
Cordelia: Well, he looked nasty...

Wesley: What? We're supposed to think a creature like that could change his modus operandi overnight? Turn into some noble protector and... defender of... . oh God.

Cordelia: Thanks for the obscure visions! We're doing great with that.

Gunn: You should probably go home now...Uh. You're welcome!
Angel: People nowadays. Would it kill 'em to say thank you?

Angel: You well?
Gunn: Picture of health and harmony. Look at you, dog. You haven't aged a bit.
Angel: I've got a situation.
Gunn: So much for the small talk.

Angel: You ever hear of a Preomotu?
Gunn: That like the '62 Chevy with the big cam? Alright, I coulda just said no.

Gunn: He was on our side?
Angel: Yeah.
Gunn: Well, did you find the scumbag who killed him?
Angel: I'm the scumbag who killed him.
Gunn: Oh.

Gunn: You gonna hang here and soak up the guilt?

Angel: It's sorta my job.
Pregnant Woman: Your job?
Angel: Yeah! Look. I got cards! And an office. Well, the office kinda blew up, but we're working out of this other apartment in Silverlake, temporarily.

Cordelia: Who is it?
Gunn: Gunn.
Wesley: What was that?
Cordelia: Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun!?
Wesley: Listen up. Whoever you are. We're well-armed and we know how to do battle, so if you know what's good for you...
Cordelia: My name is Gunn. Angel sent me.

Cordelia: Wesley, you've heard Angel talk about Gun. He's a great guy with a really fly street tag.
Wesley: What's he fly?
Cordelia: It's how they know you on the street, dorko. Gun! It really let's you know you mean business.
Gunn: It's my name. Charles Gunn. Two N's.

Cordelia: It's nice to finally meet.
Gunn: I've seen you before.
Cordelia: Really? The Tan-n-Screen commercials!
Gunn: I saw you in bed.
Cordelia: What?!
Wesley: I can see this is none of my business.
Gunn: You, too.
Wesley: Now just a moment!

Gunn: This all the cases you got goin'? Well isn't this the well-oiled machine?
Cordelia: We set 'em up; we knock 'em down. Well, we did until Angel knocked down the wrong... I'm sure he's getting on top of it now.

Cordelia: You can't see everything. You're just a vampire like everyone else... that didn't come out right.

Angel: I thought I was out of the tunnel.
Cordelia: Sure you did. Because the tunnel is... . You know, it's something we all... . Are we talking real tunnel or symbolic? Just give me that much.

Angel: That light was so bright. I thought I was already out.

Cordelia: It's going to be a long while 'til you work your way out. But I know you well enough to know you will. And I'll be with you until you do.
Angel: What about your inevitable stardom?
Cordelia: I'm not saying I won't have a day job.

Angel: Look, we gotta find her right away. Whatever it takes. There's only one way.
[cut to]
Angel: Oh Mandy. Well, you came and you gave without takin'... .

Cordelia: That man will do anything to save a life.

Host: You're just the hot ticket. One night only, two seats left, partially obstructed view.

Host: My question, first -- and answer true because you know I'll know -- why Mandy?
Angel: Well, I-I know the words. I kinda think it's pretty.
Host: And it is ya great big sap! There's not a destroyer of worlds who can argue with Manilow. And good for you for fessin' up.

Pregnant Woman: I really appreciate you helping us like this. But you know how you're not really good at anything? Sure you can do this?
Angel: I grew up around horses.

Angel: Nice horse. Try not to make me looks stupid out there, okay?

Pregnant Woman: You okay?
Angel: Yeah.
Pregnant Woman: You sure seem to bleed a lot.
Angel: Part of the job.

Wesley: Good idea. Start over with a fresh slate.
Angel: Actually, we're starting over with no slate.

Faith: Bad day. One of the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self-esteem and ... a homemade knife, so ... .
Angel: Is she, you know, alive?
Faith: She lives to tell the tale. Took the knife away, and I can't say much for the wrist it came in.

Angel: I had to sing Barry Manilow.
Faith: You're kidding.
Angel: In front of people.
Faith: And here I am talking about my petty little problems.
Angel: Just wanted to give you a little perspective.
Faith: Copacobana?
Angel: Mandy. I don't want to dwell on it.
Faith: The road to redemption is a rocky path.


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