Cordelia: Took you long enough to figure it out but nice turn with the Lorne bait. You know, there was a time I would've seen that one coming eons before it ever crossed your tiny little mind.
Angel: Because you're so clever.
Cordelia: On the scale of you to me, pretty damn.
Angel: Until now.
Gunn: Whoa. Back it up for the new guy. You saying poppin' mama threw you a beating?
Lorne: Kid Vicious did the heavy lifting. Cordy just mwa-ha-ha'd at us.
Gunn: Guy steps out for a few hours, half the place goes super-villain.
Angel: Connor's not a part of this.
Lorne: Evidence upside my head to the contrary.
Angel: He's just... confused... again.
Gunn: Wait a minute. When Gwen and I came in, faux Cordy didn't have any blood on its clothes. How'd it abracadabra that?
Wesley: Lizzie Borden. It wasn't wearing any.
Angel: Getting everyone to look over here while the real action was happening over there.
Lorne: That explains why my mojo's been gunked up. Queen Bee-atch put the whammy on me.
Angel: We don't know if it's really Cordy.
Fred: Or what she's got baking in her oven.
Gunn: Evil *and* pregnant? I'm guessing it ain't cookies.
Angel: Wes, Lilah and I weren't exactly friends—
Wesley: You were mortal enemies. Why should you care what happened to her?
Angel: Because you did.
Fred: Scented candles, couple of broken pieces of the Muo-Ping, and some toiletries that smell way too pretty to be evil...
Not much to go on. As insidious lairs go, it kept Cordy's room nice and tidy. I think it even vacuumed.
Skip: This is going to be really hard for you to accept but Cordelia has ascended to a higher plane.
Angel: Oh, I know. She's back.
Skip: Back?
Angel: Or at least something that looks like her.
Skip: Well, wait. Nobody comes back from paradise. Okay, a Slayer once, but that—
Skip: As Cordelia's guide I'm there for all the important events.
Angel: Except her welcome back party. So why didn't the Powers invite you to that one?
Skip (evasively): Mysterious ways. They can really drive a guy nuts.
Skip: Well, now, this is just embarrassing.
Angel: Tell me... what happened to Cordelia.
Skip: Or, what? You'll bleed on me some more?
[A beaten-up Angel returns with unconscious Skip.]
Wesley: What happened?
Angel: We had words.
Lorne: Between the pummeling?
Angel: Cordelia. Where is she?
Skip: I don't know. This is your dimension, man, you tell me.
Angel: The real Cordelia. Not this thing that's been posing as her.
Skip: How'd I ever get spanked by such a chump nut.
Connor: You can't be my mother.
Darla: I have her memories, her feelings. Isn't that what makes a person who they are?
Angel: Something took control of her on the higher plane?
Skip: Drill a little deeper, Hoss. How you think she got there in the first place?
Wesley: You're saying her ascension was all part of this thing's plan?
Skip: No, Cordelia was chosen to become a higher being because she's such a pure, radiant saint. Puh-lease.
Gunn: Then what do you call it?
Skip: Oh, Master or "Hey."
Skip: The only thing you can do. Kill the woman he loves to save the world. Times like this? Really gotta suck being you.
Darla: You have a choice, Connor. That is something more precious then you'll ever know.
Connor: What choice? They're hunting us like animals!
Darla: Because you're acting like one. As a vampire I killed without mercy or remorse because I didn't have a soul. What's your excuse?
Fred: Will it make a difference? We really are just pieces being moved around a board.
Gunn: Then we'll kick it over and start a new game. Look, monochrome can yap all he wants about no-name's cosmic plan, but here's a little something I picked up rubbing mojos these past couple of years. The final score can't be rigged. I don't care how many players you grease, that last shot always comes up a question mark.
