Laugh Lines, Love Lines

The Initiative  

Xander: The latest in fall fascism.

Xander: Well, how 'bout this. We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient, unstoppable evil...mayhem, mayhem, mayhem. We show up and kick its ass.
Giles: Wee bit unethical.

Buffy: Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something slutty to wear tonight.

Spike: And 'they' are? The government? The Nazis? A major cosmetics company?

Spike: I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding.

Buffy: You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.

Mrs. Harris: Xander!
Xander: Yes, Mom?
Mrs. Harris: I made a nice fruit punch for you and your friend. Would you boys like some?
Giles: Is it ... um... raspberry fruit punch?

Spike: Sorry, can't stay. Got to go see a girl.

Riley: Gee, I hope I'm not interrupting anything really depressing.

Willow: Okay, say that I help. And you start a conversation, it goes great. You like Buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper. One day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops. And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone. Until the day one of you leaves and rips the still beating heart from the other, who is now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.

Willow: I've seen honest faces before. They usually came attached to liars.

Willow: It'll give you a chance to interact. But don't get fresh.

Spike: Never, my little...foam latté. Your blondie bear is here to stay.

Spike: Forever and ever...mon petit crême brulé.
Harmony: Oooo, Italian.
Spike: Uh...yeah.

Spike: And after that, it's all you and me, my little... mentholated pack of smokes.

Harmony: Spikey, let's leave the Slayer alone. You know she'll only slap you around. And I can do that.

Willow: And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel.

Willow: Well, you failed extremely well.

Forrest: You know, I hate to say it but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked sex.

Xander: I'm sure he'd pick another night if he knew you were busy with Teutonic boytoy.

Forrest: At least she's not making crazy naked sex.
Riley: Told you.

Buffy: Who died and made you John Wayne?

Spike: I don't understand. This sort of things never happened to me b...before.
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt alright when I started.

Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I...I...you didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Oh, piffle.
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always, "ooh, you're like a sister to me" or "ooh, you're such a good friend."
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
Spike: Thought about it.
Willow: When?
Spike: Remember last year, you had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow: I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust kind of cool.
Spike: Hmmm, I hate being obvious, all fangy and GRRR. Takes the mystery out.
Willow: But if you could...?
Spike: If I could...yeah.
Willow: You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
Spike: Don't patronize me.

Buffy: You're a little peculiar.

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