Scary Little Demon Girl: Can't even shout, can't even cry, the Gentlemen are coming by. Looking in windows, knocking on doors, they need to take 7 and they might take yours. Can't call to mom, can't say a word, you're gonna die screaming but you won't be heard.
Riley: So, tell me about your dream. As a psyche major, I'm qualified to go "hmmm."
Riley: What have you got going on tonight?
Buffy: Oh, patrolling.
Riley: Patrolling?
Buffy: Uh, petroleum.
Riley: Petroleum?
Buffy: Uh huh.
Riley: Tonight you have crude oil.
Buffy: And homework. What about you?
Giles (to Buffy): Well, it could definitely be one of your prophetic dreams, or it could just be the eternal mystery that is your brain.
Spike: We're out of Wheat-a-Bix.
Giles: We are out of Wheat-a-Bix because you ate it all. Again.
Spike: Get some more.
Giles: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.
Spike: Yeah, well sometimes I like to crumble up the Wheat-a-Bix in the blood. Give it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.
Anya: This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay…remember how we talked about private conversations, how they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not friends. Go on.
Giles: Please don't.
Giles: I need you to take Spike for a few days.
Xander: What!?
Spike: What!?
Anya: What!?
Spike: I'm not staying with him.
Anya: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
Buffy: No actual witches in your witch group?
Willow: No. Bunch of wanna blessed bees. You know, nowadays every girl with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the Dark Ones.
Willow: Do I have to tie you two together?
Buffy: We almost, but...
Willow: Well, get with it! I need my vicarious smoochies.
Forrest (to Riley): This is the burden we bear, brother. We have a gig that would inevitably cause any girl living to think we are cool upon cool. Yet we must Clark Kent our way through the dating scene, never to use our unfair advantage. ... Thank God we're pretty.
Spike: I can't bite you anyway.
Xander: Oh, you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very bitable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: Alright. Fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.
Spike (imitating Anya): Xander, don't you care about me?
Xander: Shut up.
Spike: We never talk.
Xander: Shut. Up.
Spike (singsong voice): Xander…
Xander: SHUT UP!
Giles (writing on transparency): What do they want?
Willow: [Raises her hand, shaking it back and forth. Points at her chest.]
Xander (mouths): Boobies?
*Both girls make faces at him.*
Xander (writes): How do we kill them?
*Buffy gestures with her hand, in an up and down motion.*
*They all look at her.*
*Buffy realizes, frowns at them, gets out a stake and uses that instead of her hand.*
Giles: Buffy will patrol tonight.
*Buffy sees the picture he drew and glares at him, gesturing with her hands at the width of the picture's hips.*
Olivia: All the times you used to talk to me about witchcraft and darkness and the like - I just thought you were being pretentious.
Giles: Oh, I was. I was also right.
Olivia: So everything you told me was true.
Giles: Well, no. Um, I wasn't actually one of the original members of Pink Floyd.
