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 Laugh Lines, Love Lines

A Hole in the World  

Mrs. Burkle: Now, you gotta promise me that you're gonna be careful.
Fred: I'm gonna study, Mom. I'm gonna learn every damn thing they know up there, and then figure out some stuff they don't ... and I'll be careful. I'll even be dull ... boring. Cross my heart.

Fred: Kind of cool, physiologically. They reproduce by vomiting up crystals that attract and mutate the microbes around them to form eggs.
Wesley: Are you trying to turn me on?

Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I'm shocked - shocked! - that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.

Spike: If cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for forty minutes about this ... Do the astronauts have weapons?

Knox: Mummies can be a lot more trouble than you think. And you're seeing Wesley now.
Fred: Uh ... Oh ... okay. That's not connected to mummies in some way ...

Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
Spike: Are you saying we should start annoying other people?

Angel: Look, Wolfram & Hart has got offices in every major city in the world - and a lot more out of it. I'll give you the resources you need to go anywhere: cars, gadgets, expense accounts. You fight the good fight, but in style. ... and, if possible, in outer Mongolia.
Spike: A roving agent. Sort of a double-0-seven without the poncy tux.

Angel: The lab is doing some blood work.
Fred: I'm a mummy, aren't I.
Spike: I've fought plenty of mummies, and none of 'em were as pretty as you. Almost none.

Angel: We're gonna work this. Shouldn't take long.
Fred: Handsome man saves me.
Angel (with a laugh): That's how it works.

Wesley: Get to the point.
Angel: Her organs are cooking. In a day's time, they'll liquefy.
Spike: No. Not this girl. Not this day.

Angel: Good. Guys...
Wesley: You don't have to say it.
Angel: I'll say it anyway: Winifred Burkle. Go.

Gunn: You want someone else, a life for hers, you'll get it - you can have mine.
Conduit: I already do.

Lorne: Her future's not too bright, but ...
Eve: What do you mean?
Lorne: Well, nothing's written in stone - lately - but if I was about to face your future, I'd make like Carmen Miranda and die.

Fred: I have to work.
Wesley: You have to lie down.
Fred: I am not - I am not the damsel in distress. I am not some case. I have to work this. I lived in a cave for five years in a world where they killed my kind like cattle. I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu. I am better than that!

Drogyn: It's been freed. The demon's essence.
Spike: Yeah, it's been freed. Why do you think we're here? And what's your favorite color? What's your favorite song? Who's the goalkeeper for Manchester United? And how many fingers am I holdin' up? You wanna kill me, try! But I don't have time for your quirks.

Fred: Why can't I stay?


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