Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Harm's Way  

Angel (in a W&H promo video): If you don't kill, we won't kill you.

Harmony: I took care of the catering for the big feuding demon clan confab, unless you have any requests.
Angel: Ackshai fong moshinite.
Harmony: Y'okay ... Could you spell that?

Rudy: You're up today.
Harmony: Oh, come on, Rudy. You know I've been off the human blood for months!
Rudy: Company policy. Give me the finger.

Harmony: Couldn't you have given him a stern warning or something first?
Angel: It's called a "zero tolerance" policy, not a "maybe this once" policy. Nobody in this office gets away with murder, not anymore.

Fred: There haven't been any side effects since you re-corporealized, have there?
Spike: Bit of a hangover. But that's to be expected after all the drinking.

Spike: Here's the thing. Could use a little walkin'-around money. How 'bout a few hundred?
Angel: How 'bout no?

Spike: Any message for Buffy?
Angel: Tell her you're a moron.

Spike: Fred ... I want you to know - I mean, all that work you put in trying to, you know, cure me of the ghosties...
Fred: I didn't do anything.
Spike: Oh, you did. You believed in ... I mean, you tried. I won't forget that.

Harmony: What? I don't get a good-bye just because I went crazy and tried to rip your throat out while we were having sex?
Spike: Keep it simple, Harm. It suits you.

Gunn: Way back when, clans got along OK. Shared a few hundred miles of desert, traded livestock, and even partied together once in a while. Then a Vinji used the wrong fork at a Sahrvin bonding ceremony. Sahrvins took offense, and they've been slaughtering each other ever since.
Fred: You're saying this whole thing started over a fork faux pas?
Gunn: They're pretty finicky about manners.

Wesley: Etiquette aside, the Vinji and the Sahrvin are notoriously vicious. Why not let them wipe each other out?
Gunn: Hey, I got no love for these guys, but we manage to push through a peace plan and the whole demon world's gonna know we got game.
Fred: That makes sense... in a kind of gray, Machiavellian kind of way.

Fred: My lab managed that upgrade to the weapons scanner, like you requested.
Angel: Foolproof?
Fred: I'd say yes, but then some fool would just come along and sneak something past us.

Gunn: And since none of the clan representatives speak English, I'll be doing most of the talking.
Wesley: You?
Gunn: Yeah. Along with the law -- and the Gilbert and Sullivan -- also got me a few demon languages in the brain upload.

Harmony (trying to participate in the break room talk): Don't forget about Wesley. I get the vibe that he's, like, totally crushing over Fred.
Female Worker: Mr. Wyndam-Pryce? Everyone knows he's -- (she notices food) Muffins!

Dan: They're from Lorne. Actually from Shaq, but Lorne's declared his office a carb-free zone.
Office Girl: He's totally grooming you.
Dan: You think? He does call me "Dan the man."
Harmony: Angel grooms me, too.
Office Girl (to her friend): Explains the haircut.

Harmony: I did everything right! This is what they eat!
Fred: Angel's just feeling a little off, and he-- he's not in the mood to, you know, butcher a camel.

Harmony: Everybody hates me.
Fred: I don't hate you. I-I mean, it's just I-I don't know you that well and-

Harmony: ...and the worst part is, I can't even quit, 'cause I don't have anywhere else to go.
Fred: I'm sure that's not... Really?
Harmony: I tried being out on my own, all independent and evil. I'm just no good at it.

Harmony (to Fred): I just wish I were more like you. You know, except for the part about being all into science ... and not having a lot up front.

Harmony: We're totally bonding! We're like gal pals! This is awesome! You can teach me about life, and I can teach you how to dress better.

Harmony: I just-- I don't get it. I used to be way popular in high school. Just since I got vamped at my graduation, I've had trouble connecting with people.

Harmony: I ... gravitate more towards the undead variety.
Fred: Well, there's your problem: the undead - they're not exactly givers.

Fred: Just say hi and introduce yourself. I bet he takes it from there.
Harmony: Right. But what if he doesn't... take it?
Fred: Well, questions are always good. Ask him where he's from and what he does for a living´┐Ż
Harmony: Cover the boring stuff.
Fred: Only... maybe act like it's not. Boring.

Harmony: Uh... Tim? Trevor? George? Apparently you and I... you know, and I'm sure I rocked your world and all, but... I gotta go to work, so... Hello?
[She sees that the man in her bed is quite dead.]
Harmony: Oops.

Harmony (talking to herself, trying to recall what happened): Okay... I remember the talking. "Hi, I'm Harmony." "You look thirsty." "Well, why don't I drink a couple quarts of your blood, then, Tom...Terry..."

Wesley: And the police called you because...
Angel: Apparently, we own them.
Gunn: Right. Makes sense.
Wesley: Of course.
Angel: Well, that, and they found my card on the victim.

Harmony: It is so totally obvious you hate me! You've probably been watching me sweat all day, laughing!
Dan: Hate you? I don't care about you enough to hate--

Tamika: You don't remember? Think steno pool. I sat next to you.
Harmony: Sambuca.
Tamika: Tamika!

Harmony: I know you never wanted me as your assistant, and okay, I made some bad choices. I mean, it's not like I have a soul. I have to try a lot harder.

Harmony: But what happened to Europe? Aren't you supposed to be slayer-chasing or something?
Spike: I was on my way. Had a boat ticket and all. Then I put a little thinking into it. A man can't go out in a bloody blaze of glory, savin' the world, and then show up 3 months later, tumbling off a cruise ship in the south of France. I mean, I'd love to, don't get me wrong, but, uh, it's hard to top an exit like that.

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