Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Happy Anniversary  

Wesley: When they went out of business they just left these here?
Cordelia: Yup. Also the desk. We'll share.
Wesley: And when we go out of business we can just leave our stuff for the next guy.
Cordelia: Hey, hey, negative energy boy, with all of our money pooled together we can stay here a long time.
Wesley: Hmm. 20 minutes.
Cordelia: At least.

Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really.

Host: Hey, big fella. You're gotta be singing all the time in here, am I right? Come on, with these acoustics? "And the rockets red glare!" Do you hear that resonance?
Angel: What I hear, and maybe -- hopefully - I'm still dreaming, is the star-spangled-banner being belted out by a loud green demon.
Host: We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. Although the garden hue and the horns have kept me out of some key public performances. Just once I'd love to ring in a Lakers game with our national anthem. Is that so much to ask?

Host: Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is, your aura? Beige.

Angel: Oh, I have an idea. Can you just get to the point already?
Host: Yes, I can, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. Get-to-the-point-y-pants.

Angel: Why'd you come to me?
Host: Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or dead. Why? You don't want to work with me? Is this because I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little...
Angel: Pointless and deadly?

Host: That'd make more sense. So what we should do is to start with the other local Karaoke bars, see if we can get a lead on him. That is if you're not to busy getting lawyers killed and setting girls on fire.

Gunn: Cordelia - stop trying.
Cordelia: Really?
Wesley: Join us. Sometimes you need to wallow. Just let the depression settle in silently.

Virginia: Hey! Wow. This place is great. I brought champagne. You guys must be so excited in that really dry, suicidal way.

Wesley: Sorry, sweetheart. You just caught us in a moment of... Well...
Cordelia: Reality.
Virginia: Oh that. I avoid that.
Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia: Money. It cures everything but boredom and food cures boredom, so there you go. Imported chips and packets of cheese.

Gunn: Yeah. And don't try to tell us there is no way to go but up, because the truth is there is always more down.
Virginia: Oh! And that was very well said by the way. But I found a case for you. A client. A rich one.
Wesley: Really?
Cordelia: And this isn't the first thing you say when you come in the room?
Virginia: Well, I got distracted by your waves of desperation.

Angel: Where did you learn how to drive?
Host: Just now in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?
Angel: What? You nearly got us killed four times.
Host: Someone had to drive. You weren't exactly qualified, huddled under a blanket in back, hiding from the sun.

Angel: Student yearbook/faculty publications going back past five years. Lets see if we can't find your little madman bent on destroying the universe.
Host: I like to think of him as our little madman. That's just me, team player, you know?

Angel: What did you say to it?
Host: I said we come in peace. I don't think he believed me.

Angel: I think you should shut up now.
Host: I'm the host. Have you met me? I never shut up. You pushed your friends away. You went from helping the helpless to hunting down the guilty. Blood vengeance is a luxury of the lesser beings. You're a champion, Angel. I mean you were, at least.

Angel: You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can! Never going to be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law-school graduates working fulltime driving me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's "Angel, why are you so cranky?" "Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid."
Host: Oh. Not this season, honey.
Angel: Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. They took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew - they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means that they're still human. It means they're better off fired.

Host: It's not always gonna be this way. The song changes. Unless, of course, we don't get there on time, in which case - you'll be frozen in this crappy mood forever. I shudder to think.

Angel: Well, you know - love it's a fire.
Gene: You been there.
Angel: It burns you. Alive. Down to the bone. And then it turns the bone to ash...
Host: I-I think what my chipper friend is trying to say here, Gene, is the wheel keeps turning. You can't stop it. Sometimes things get worse, sometimes they get better.

Angel: Well, the guy is a disaster at love, and nearly destroyed the world. I can relate.

Man: Which one of you is Angel?
Wesley: It's just a name.

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