Laugh Lines, Love Lines

First Impressions  

Host: You've been practicing haven't you?
Angel: A little.
Host: Probably not in front of the mirror.

Angel: I still can't believe you're here. I mean, I killed you.

Cordelia: This isn't mere dust. This is Son of Dust. This is the kind of dust that spawns countless generations of little baby dust.

Cordelia: I give up.
Wesley: Very well. We'll just move our offices back to your living room.
Cordelia: And I'm dusting...

Cordelia: He's still sleeping.
Gunn: Sleepin'? It's 3:30 in the afternoon. I been up since dawn.
Cordelia: Sort of missing the whole Creature of the Night angle, isn't he?

Gunn: Could one of you go in there and knock on his coffin?
Cordelia: He doesn't use a coffin. And maybe you've never heard the expression "Let sleeping vampires lie"?

Cordelia: Maybe we can help.
Gunn: You two? I find Deevak, I'm gonna need more than C-3PO and Stick Figure Barbie backin' me up, no offense.
Wesley: Very little taken.

David: Got here as quick as I could.
Cordelia: We paged you two days ago.

David: Where's Angel?
Cordelia: Actually, he's still kind of sleepy.
David: At 3:30? I've been up since dawn.

David: I stand ready to fight the good fight, sir. Whaddya need?
Angel: Financial advice.

Angel: Cordy? You're driving.
Cordelia: Me? Drive your car? Cool!

Wesley: Shotgun!

Gunn: We're too late. He split.
Cordelia: Maybe he heard what a pleasant person you were to be around.

Cordelia: When you do find him, you may want to be a little more Guy Pierce in L.A. Confidential, and a little less Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs.
Gunn: I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed of the Oscar for Malcolm X. Later.
Wesley: That was quite a performance.
Cordelia: I know! Talk about wound up too tight.
Wesley: No. I - I mean Denzel.
Cordelia: Oh. Well, he's always great.
Wesley (to Angel): What about you?
Angel: Who doesn't love Denzel?

Wesley: Uh. Oh, s'quite alright. Now, about the naked thing.
Angel: I'll get dressed.
Wesley: Much appreciated.

Cordelia: Do you know what he's going to do to me when he finds out I let his car get stolen? I mean, what are the chances that a vampire has full insurance with a low deductible?

Gunn: You don't have a clue why I do things I do.
Cordelia: Paging Mr. Rationalization!
Gunn: Paging Miss About to Be Thrown Out of a Moving Vehicle!

Cordelia: You need protection.
Gunn: And how exactly do you plan on protecting me -- with some weak-ass, lady smith battle axe?
Cordelia: Ask Joey and his cracked skull just how "weak-ass" it is.

Wesley: What's the problem?
Angel: It's just, you know, the whole visibility issue not to mention the whole hat head thing, and I mean, when you really think about it how come I have to wear the ladies helmet?
Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on.

Wesley: Looks good. Hop on board, Gorgeous.
Angel: You'll pay for this.

Gunn: You must be Deevak. They told me you was ugly, but damn!

Wesley: Angel, look. I found your keys. Unfortunately, this substance doesn't appear to be coming off.
Angel: What is that?
Wesley: Demon blood. Or demon puss. Or possibly both.

Quotes Index  

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