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 Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Faith, Hope and Trick  

Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?

Xander: Buffy, banned from campus, but not from our hearts, how are you and what's for lunch?

Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

Willow: Ooo, Scott Hope at eleven o'clock. He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then. But I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. Oh! I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you... You're supposed to stop me when I do that.
Oz: I like when you do that.

Willow: I think that went very well. Don't you think that went very well?
Cordelia: He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress.

Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut.

Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!

Trick: Sunnydale. Town's got quaint. And the people? He called me 'sir'. Don't you just miss that? I mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers, you know, strictly the Caucasian Persuasion here in the Dale. But, you know, you just gotta stand up and salute their death rate. I ran a statistical analysis, and hello darkness. It makes...D.C. look... like Mayberry, and ain't nobody saying boo about it. We could fit right in here. Have us some fun.

Buffy: Hello, my life, how I've missed you.

Oz: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town.

Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?
Buffy: Well... Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.

Faith: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I see him. If I'd've known they came that young and cute, I would've requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if 'ew'.

Willow: There's big evil brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith. 'Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil.

Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by snakes.
Xander: And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.
Willow: Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night.
Willow: Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave.
Xander: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid.

Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer dies.
Joyce: Then that means you... When did you die? You never told me you died!
Buffy: No, i-it was just for a few minutes.

Buffy: Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three.

Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns.

Buffy: Angel was cured.
Giles: I'm sorry?
Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.


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