>>  Quotes Hall of Fame   

These are quotes that fans have sent in as their favorites. If you would like to share your favorites, you can email me or you can post your choices at the forums.

BtVS

Buffy: What are you doing here. Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk . . . Bitch.
No Place Like Home
received 40.7% of 123 votes

Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
Tabula Rasa
received 35.3% of 68 votes

Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.
Reptile Boy
received 32.8% of 58 votes

Angel: What's happening?
Buffy: Shh. Don't worry about it. I love you.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: Close your eyes.
Becoming, Part 2
received 31.5% of 89 votes

Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
When She Was Bad
received 31.1% of 90 votes

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.
Bad Girls
received 29.6% of 54 votes

Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
Becoming, Part 1
received 28.1% of 89 votes

Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'.
Angel: Buffy...
Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.
Angel
received 27.8% of 90 votes

Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
School Hard
received 25.9% of 58 votes

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Surprise
received 24.6% of 77 votes

Angel: Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.
Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.
Angel: Oh, a thing. A date?
Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?
Helpless
received 21.5% of 79 votes

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
received 21.1% of 123 votes

"Here endeth the lesson." The Master in Angel, Spike in Fool For Love, and Buffy at some point.
(From Stacey: Buffy said this during Season 7 in the episode "Showtime.")

Willow: Bored now.
Dopplegangland/Villians

Buffy: When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it.
Prophecy Girl

Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.
Lie To Me

Anya: I love a ritual sacrifice.
Buffy: Not really a one of those.
Anya: To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice...with pie.
Pangs

Monster: Who are you?
Buffy: I'm Buffy, the vampire slayer. And you are?
Anne

Xander: And was there a lesson in all of this? What have we learned about beer?
Buffy: Foamy!
Xander: Good. Just so that’s clear.
Beer Bad

Riley: We're drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffeemakers that think.
Buffy: World domination? Is that a good?
Riley: Buffy, we're the government. It's what we do.
Restless

Angelus: Been there, done that, and deja vu just isn't what it used to be.
Passion

Xander: Beautiful girl with ... no other thought but to please you ... willing to do anything...Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but...he'd get it.
I Was Made to Love You

Willow: I knew it! I knew it! Well, not in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.

Harmony (to Spike): I am powerful and beautiful and I don't need you to complete me. And you're mean!
Pangs

Angel

Cordelia: Lemme break this down for you, Fred. (Being Buffy) Oh, Angel. I know that I am a Slayer, and you are a Vampire, and it is impossible for us to be together, but --
Wesley: (Being Angel) But my gypsy curse, and our hot little loins, sometimes prevent us from seeing the truth. Oh Buffy --
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: I love you so much I almost forgot to brood.
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't! You'll lose your soul!
Wesley: To hell with my soul! Again! Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: How 'bout you both bite me?
Fredless
received 59.7% of 72 votes

Spike: Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink...
Angel: Spike...
Spike: Look at you.
Angel: Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: You're a--
Angel: Spike!
Spike: You're a bloody puppet! You're a wee, little puppet man!
Smile Time
received 41% of 100 votes

Man: This is a private club. Featured word: Private.
Angel: You don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word: Ass.
Expecting
received 30% of 70 votes

Cordelia: Okay, you get to leave now. You're not gonna come in here and accuse Angel like this.
Wesley: Cordelia.
Cordelia: No! I don't care how many files you have on all the horrible things that he did back in the powdered wig days. He's good now. And he is my friend. And nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!
Angel: Cordelia. He's right.
Cordelia: You stake him and I'll cut his head off.
Somnambulist
received 25.7% of 70 votes

Darla: But we...
Angel: Yes...
Darla: ...and you...
Angel: I know...
Darla: Then I...
Angel: Three times...
Darla: You're not evil?
Epiphany
received 22.9% of 70 votes

Sahjhan: I have a lot of work to do. I can't be in every time/space at once, and here I find you drinking with my sworn enemy.
Angel: Sworn enemy? Really? Have we met? Because I don't remember swearing.
Sleep Tight
received 21.8% of 55 votes

Wesley: I'm not quite finished. I think it's only fair that everybody have a turn. The cross obviously doesn't affect me or our friend, the pugilist.
Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up.
Spin The Bottle
received 21.1% of 57 votes

Angel: What you did to me was unbelievable, Connor. But then I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so three months under the ocean actually gave me perspective.
Deep Down
received 20.8% of 53 votes

Cordelia: Wow. How did I - ? I am a spy. I get it now. You're all spies. Probably all Russian. And you've brainwashed me, and want me to believe we're friends so I'll spill the beans about some nano-techno-thingy that you want.
Gunn: So... I look Russian to you?
Cordelia: Black Russian.
Angel: That's a drink.
Cordelia: Says the head spy.
Slouching Toward Bethlehem
received 20.8% of 53 votes

Wesley: Angel --
Angel: Invite me in.
Wesley: What?
Angel: I've never been here before, Wesley! You have to invite me in!
Wesley: That's true, you haven't...Well. Perhaps if you'd shown more interest --
Angel: Wesley!
Wesley: Yes! No! Absolutely! I invite you in! In I invite you!
Epiphany
received 20% of 70 votes

Fred: You know what they say about payback? Well, I'm the bitch.
Supersymmetry
received 19.3% of 57 votes

Lindsey: I guess it's fair to say you've never seen anything like real poverty. I'm talking dirt poor. No shoes, no toilet. Six of us kids in one room. And come flu season it was down to four. I was seven when they took the house. They just came right in and took it. And my daddy's bein' nice, you know? Joking with the bastards while he signs the deed. See we had a choice -- you got stepped on or you got to steppin'. And I swore to myself I wasn't goin' to be the guy standing there with a stupid grin on my face while my life got dribbled out…
Angel: Ooof. I nodded off. Did you get to the part where you're evil?
Blind Date
received 19.2% of 52 votes

Darla: All you have do, is let me give you one little moment of happiness.
Angel: You took me places, showed me things. You blew the top off my head. But you never made me happy.
Darla: But that...that cheerleader did?
Dear Boy
received 19.2% of 52 votes

Angel: Really, ah, fun party, last night.
Cordy: I'm so glad you came. You know how parties are, you're always worried that no one's going to... suck the energy out of the room like a giant, black hole of boring despair. But, there you were in the clinch.
She

Angel: I talked to people... Laura.
Cordy: Laura thought you hated her. I had to tell her you were challenged.
She

Wesley: Seems you're taking this personally.
Angel: Well, she tried to shoot my own personal back, so yeah.
Five by Five

Fred: I've been forkin' with Gunn.
That Vision Thing

Cordelia: Oh please. They've got the forbidden love of all time. They've been apart for months, now he's suddenly human? I'm sure they're down there just havin' tea and crackers.
I Will Remember You

Doyle: A good fight, yeah? You never know until you've been tested. I get that now.
Hero

Wesley: We made you some tea.
Angel: Great.
Cordelia: It's on the table right there in front of you.
Angel: Table seems far.
Cordelia: Aw, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days. It's like living with the world's oldest teenager. He couldn't be having grouth spurt at 248 could he?
Angel: 247
Dear Boy

Angel: Divide and conquer, you mean.
Lilah: Oh, you're so cynical. See this is going to work out great.
Home

Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil.
Angel: Cared for you less.
Spike: Fine.
Angel: Good. There was one thing about you...
Spike: Really?
Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I...I liked your poems.
Spike: You like Barry Manilow!
Hellbound

Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen.
Wesley: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy. That guy is charming and funny and...emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit and the 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley: Get over it!
Smile Time

Lindsey: It's a secret society.
Gunn: Never heard of them.
Lindsey: That's because they're secret.
Power Play

Angel: You haven't heard a word I've said. For, like, years back.
Lindsey: Well, you get a little speechy, all right? And I breeze out. I got the Cliff Notes. Honor and humanity - absolute good, I heard it. So here's the plot twist: I'm in.
Not Fade Away

Angel: What the hell are you doing here?
Connor: Come on. You drop by for a cup of coffee, and the world's not ending? Please.
Not Fade Away