Buffy: You tell them if you want. Go ahead. Rock the boat. Rock and roll it the hell over. My friends and I'll still be groovin' with the movin'. Know why? I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me now? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll deal.
Spike: In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?
Buffy: Because I don't love you.
Tara: Hey!
Willow: Look at you. All coming-out-of-class and everything.
Tara: I do that sometimes. Usually at the end part of the class.
Tara: How's your... you know, after the basement deal?
Willow: It's between a hitch and a kink. With a side of twinge. It's okay.
Tara: And Buffy's okay too? Enjoying the refreshing sanity and so forth?
Willow: Ha! Yes! Refreshing san-- that's funny!
Buffy: Okay... can we go in that one?
Dawn: Three pairs of earrings, a change purse and a toothbrush.
Buffy: You stole a toothbrush?
Dawn: Mother of pearl handle. Very fancy.
Buffy: Yeah, but you stole a toothbrush. As rebellious teenagers go, you're kinda square.
Dawn: Dental hygiene is important.
Buffy: Hey, you didn't steal anything from the pet store, did you?
Dawn: Pocketful of goldfish. Didn't work out. No.
Jonathan: I do this wrong, it's gonna surge and we'll be deader than an ex-girlfriend.
Warren: He's almost done.
Andrew: I sorta feel kinda sorry for him.
Warren: That's a weakness.
Andrew: Um... okay.
Xander: I know that there's nothing I can do or say to make up for what I did. I can't -- sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I'm like, oh God, is this my life? Was that me?
Anya: Me too.
Xander: But you have to believe me, please, that I want to make up for it, I want to take away the hurt, I love you. So much.
Anya: Actually, it's really not. Kind of an either-or deal. Do you want to get married?
Xander: Someday, yes, very much. When we're ready. I don't want you to take that as a bad thing, it's good, I love you, I love you so much, I'm just trying to be honest with you --
Anya: Yes, honesty now. Congratulations, Xander, for being honest now, I wonder what the medal will say.
Anya: I haven't been scorned by a man in, like, a thousand years. I never had to make a wish for myself. Isn't there some way around that?
Halfrek: Well... You could try getting someone to make the wish for you. I suppose.
Dawn: Uh, gosh. Did we open a chain? Are we the International House of something?
Buffy: Got up early, seemed like a breakfast kind of morning, what kind of syrup you want on your pancakes?
Dawn: Syrup comes in kinds?
Dawn: You guys all went out patrolling every night when you were my age.
Buffy: Yes, well, technically, you're one-and-a-half. See, I thought a little levity might, okay, but also no.
Willow: It was this thing, and it came out from inside her head.
Tara: That's disgusting. What did it look like?
Willow: Well... let's put it this way. If I wasn't gay before...
Anya: Actually, there is an eensy something I could use a little help with. You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. Let's talk about Xander.
Buffy: I don't think he could feel any worse.
Anya: Let's test that theory.
Buffy: Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong and if it had happened to me I'd-
Anya: Wish his penis would explode?
Tara: It's not really so much about hating the men.
Willow: We're more centered around the girl on girl action.
Anya: And men really like to watch that kind of stuff, don't they? Men like Xander.
Tara: Well, I --
Anya: Don't you wish his eyes would explode?
Dawn: I never use that word anymore.
Anya: Coagulate?
Dawn: W-i-s-h.
Anya: Oh, wish? As in I wish Xander --
Dawn: Right! That word. There's vengeance demons out there that are still active, remember. Any 'I wish' could totally end in horrible grossness.
Anya: Gimme a fer-instance.
Buffy: I don't really think I should --
Anya: Did I mention the whole "left at the altar" thing? Didn't leave that out, did I?
Buffy: No, I know what he did was wrong. God. I can't imagine -- It must have been torture.
Anya: Okay! Let's talk about torture!
Anya: Tell me more about wishing Xander's guts and brains would go blooey.
Dawn: I didn't say that.
Anya: Yes you did.
Dawn: No I didn't.
Anya: I heard you.
Dawn: I swear, I didn't say that.
Anya: Didn't say what?
Dawn: Um, I just saw you were back and wanted to talk about working off my debt. You know, my whole Sticky-Fingers-Grabby-Hands-thing?
Anya: Oh! Right, the mad thieving. Good, yes, there 's much to do. I'm gonna put you to work, missy! So, back to Xander's brain and guts...
Anya: God! What kind of lesbian are you?! If you love men so much, go love men!
Anya: Congratulations. They all still love you. Even after what you did to me.
Buffy: Or, in the Land of the Sane, you could give her some space and let her cool down.
Xander: That's not Proactive Guy. That's Sit-Around-And-Wait-For-The-Rest-of-His-Life-To-Turn-To-Crap Guy.
Buffy: True, but Crap Guy gets to keep all his appendages.
Buffy: Okay, see, this is why a heart to heart isn't your best course of action here. You're both upset and angry and what the hell is that creepy little thing doing in my yard? Did Willow put that there when I was dead? 'Cause if I had known, I would have crawled out of the grave sooner to kick her --
Anya: It's just, he made a fool of me, and nobody seems to care enough to do anything.
Spike: I care. What he did to you, I've never stooped that low, and I'm an "evil, souless thing" according to some people-
Anya: But shouldn't he pay? Don't you wish he had to pay in some horrible way?
Spike: Absolutely.
Anya: Right. So - hypothetically - what do you wish you could do to him?
Spike: You name it, pet. You're the wronged party. Something gruesome, how 'bout?
Anya: I'm off my guard. Happy. I'm singing in the shower and doing my sexy dance-
Spike: Exact- I have no dance.
Spike: Never! I was always going above and beyond. I saved the Scoobies how many times? And I can't stand the lot of you.
Anya: Me either! I hate us! Everybody's so "nice." Nobody speaks their mind.
Spike: You do.. That's why you're the only one of them I wouldn't bite if I had the chance.
Spike: Absolutely. I have nothing but respect for a woman who is forthright. Drusilla was always straightforward. Didn't have a single buggering clue about what was going on right in front of her, but she was straight about it. That's a virtue.
Anya: Xander didn't think so. He thought I was rude.
Spike: That's because he's one of them. Uptight. Repressed.
Anya: When, really, I can't sleep at night, thinking - it has to be my fault, somehow-
Spike: Shhhhh-
Anya: I mean, what if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me, I mean the way I wanted...
Anya: I have one more question-
Spike: Hmmmmm.
Anya: Can I see your sexy dance?
Anya: You know I'm only doing this 'cause I'm lonely and I'm drunk and you smell good.
Spike: See? Forthright.
Warren: Is that the cam in the Magic Box?
Jonathan: Oh my God.
Andrew: What are they... oh.
Warren: Is that --
Jonathan: Spike.
Andrew: He is so cool... And, I mean, the girl is hot. Too.
Dawn: So... This is it. This is the stuff you've been protecting me from? You and Spike?
Buffy: And a lot of monsters.
Dawn: Uh huh.
Buffy: But it's over. Spike.
Dawn: I wish you'd told me.
Buffy: I kinda didn't admit it to myself.
Dawn: I get that.
Buffy: Didn't take long, did it?
Xander: O-oh! Okay... then you had to do it. Because he was there. Like Mt. Everest. Like I used to be.
Anya: And then you weren't. You left me, Xander. At the altar. I don't owe you anything.
Xander: So you bang the first body you can find? Dead or alive?
Anya: Where do you get off judging me-
Xander: When this is your solution to our problems? I hurt you so you get me back? Very mature.
Anya: No, the mature solution is to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes so no one will notice you're just a scared, insecure little boy!
Xander: I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something, congratulations. It worked. I look at you - I feel sick - 'cause you had sex with that.
Spike: Good enough for Buffy.
Spike: Stupid tossbag. You know, I wish he would --
Anya: Don't.
Tara: There's so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides... you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?
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