Laugh Lines, Love Lines


Wesley: ...Engage your co-workers from time to time. Be sensitive to their feelings, their opinions. Especially before you take some action one might construe as, oh, let's just call it: insane? Goes a long way to show you respect and appreciate them. This is torture for you, isn't it?
Angel: Yes.
Wesley: Good. I think that's all for now.

Wesley: And I'd love a cup of coffee.
Angel: Very funny.
Cordelia: Two sugars in mine.
Angel: Man, atonement's a bitch.

Angel: Uh--
Cordelia: Don't.
Angel: Don't--?
Cordelia: You're gonna start trying to make small talk. Get all stammery. Don't. You might strain something.

Cordelia: Okay, you wanna know how I am? Tired, mostly. With "sweaty" running a close second. But, truthfully, I'm also jazzed. Can't wait to get our business up and sputtering again. Ready to help those helpless... But, just so we understand each other...You and I? We're not friends.

Cordelia: Whoa. Big bird.
Gunn: Bigbird?
Cordelia: Not the Muppet, dumbass...

Gunn: Cordelia said blue robes, didn't she?
Wesley: It's dark. Perhaps she was mistaken.
Angel: Hey, I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt before just condemning her like that, don't you?

Angel: I just thought... Well, she looked so tired. And that vision really took a lot out of her. And... You think maybe I should send her something? Flowers, maybe?
Wesley: Flowers?
Angel: Yeah. You know, to say "thanks." And "sorry about the migraines." You know... "I appreciate you."
Wesley: Yes, by all means. And while you're at it, pick me up one of those "SORRY YOU WERE SHOT IN THE GUT" bouquets!

Wesley: You can't buy back her trust, Angel. Or her affections.
Angel: She said... She said we're not friends, Wesley.

Willow: We are all clear on the fact that Harmony's a vampire, right?
Cordelia: Ohhh! Harmony's a vampire! That's why she-- Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. All this time I thought she'd become a great big lesbo...Oh, really?... Hey, that's... great. Good for you. That's, yeah... It's good.
Willow: Thanks for the affirmation, Cordelia.

Angel: Wes. You can't. Cordelia feels her friend doesn't post a threat. I think we should respect her wishes...I'm just saying...

Cordelia: Hey. I told you. Harmony's my friend. I trust her completely and with every fiber of my being. Harmony, you can stay here.
Harmony: I don't wanna stay here alone with a ghost.

Harmony: I mean, how do you stand everything? Being what you are. How can you deprive yourself of the taste... the sensation of rich, warm, human blood flowing into your mouth... Bathing your tongue... caressing your throat, with its sweet, sticky--
Gunn: I'm back!
Angel: Me too!

Wesley: It's all right to speak freely in front of her. She's a vampire.
Gunn: Don't we kill them anymore?

Cordelia: What do you think?
Host: I think your friend should reconsider the name "Harmony."

Gunn: Just so we're on the same page, when we find this vampire cult, we are gonna kill 'em, right?

Wesley: Angel...
Angel: It's your place to tell her.
Wesley: She's not listening to me.
Angel: Welcome to my world.

Angel: She doesn't have a soul.
Cordelia: Oh. That's it, isn't it? You're better than her because you have a soul.
Angel: Well... yeah.

Cordelia: And you didn't just betray me, Angel. You didn't just hurt me... You gave away my clothes!
Angel: To the needy...
Cordelia: I am the needy. Do you know how scared I was you were on your way to becoming Angelus again? Imagine what could've happened it you'd gone nuts and slept with Darla.
Angel: You know I would never do that.

Cordelia: Oh, my god! These are gorgeous! You have the most amazing taste! You have, like, a gay man's taste! And that's saying something. I love them so much!

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