Laugh Lines, Love Lines


Drusilla: Look what I made. It's called Willy.
William: William.
Drusilla: Where's Darla? I want Darla to see William.
Angelus: Darla and I had a little spat. Her precious master sent for her. You know Darla. Master's pet.

Spike: Yeah, right. Boo-hoo. Thought he killed his bloody father. Try staking your mother when she's coming on to you!
Harmony: Well... that explains a lot.

Spike: It must've been that box of flash I got in the mail.
Angel: You "got"? From who?
Spike: Don't know, don't care. But if you see him, give him a bloody kiss on the mouth for me.

Angelus: She's special, isn't she? Our Drusilla.
William: More than that. She brought me into this world. Where I was meant to be. It's like... she's my destiny.

Angel: Oh, let me guess: the lab computers are on the fritz.
Fred: Well, yeah, but that's just the tip of the fritzberg.

Gunn: Yeah. He got something in the mail. Flash, bam, boom... he's a solid citizen again.
Fred: Oh, my God why didn't you call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. We just, you know, we've had our hands full dealing with the glitch in the office system... which just so happens to coincide with Spike being back, and I can't believe I'm just getting that.

Angel: Okay, seal off the building. Nobody in or out until we know what we got here. Spell, virus, mass hysteria...
Guard: Yes, sir. (on his radio) All channels, we have a Code Black. Affirmative: we are closing Pandora's Box.

Eve: There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you, and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad.
Spike: Hold on a tick. You're blaming this on us?
Angel: No, she's blaming it on you.

Eve: This town might not be big enough for the both of you.
Spike: Well screw this town, then. Screw this devil's funhouse, Angel - and screw you, for good measure. I think I'll take the new flesh and bones across the pond, back to Europe.

Gunn: I just went to the white room to see what the big cat had to say.
Angel: And?
Gunn: Cat's gone.
Eve: Gone?
Gunn: The white room, too. Elevator just opened up into a howling abyss. You ever heard a howling abyss? Terrible sound.

Angel: Spike... stay... Please. Europe'll still be there after we've worked this out.
Gunn: Maybe.
Angel: Probably.

Eve: So there's a cup.
Spike: "Perpetual torment"? Just know that's not gonna taste very good.

Angel: You think this is a game? People are dying.
Spike: And one of us is going to stop it. Hey, what do you know? I vote for me.
Angel: There's no voting; it's a prophecy. And the Shanshu's not about you, Spike.
Spike: Still can't accept it, can you? Sad, really. All these years believing you're the signified monkey, only to find out you're just a big hunk of nobody cares.

Angel: Is that what you think you are? A hero?
Spike: Saved the world, didn't I?
Angel: Once. Talk to me after you've done it a couple more times.

Spike: But me, I fought for my soul. Went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It's my destiny.
Angel: Really? Heard it was just to get into a girl's pants.

Angelus (to William): Just don't get it now, do you? Well, you're new - and a little dim - so let me explain to you how things are now. There's no belonging or deserving anymore. You can take what you want, have what you want... but nothing is yours.

Spike: Every time you look at me, you see all the dirty little things I've done. All the lives I've taken... because of you! Drusilla sired me, but you made me a monster.
Angel: I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door and let the real you out.
Spike: You never knew the real me.

Spike: Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you.
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you - because you weren't me.
Spike: Guess that means she was thinking about you all those times I was puttin' it to her!

Angel: Ask yourself. Is this really the destiny that was meant for you? Do you even really want it? Or is it that you just want to take something away from me?
Spike (with a shrug): Bit of both.

Fred: What happened?
Angel: I fell down... some stairs. Big stairs.

Angel: He beat me to the cup.
Gunn: You mean the fake cup? The make-believe, fairy-tale cup? So what?!

Angel: In the end, Spike was stronger. He wanted it more.
Gunn: Angel, it doesn't mean anything.
Angel: What if it does? What if it means that... I'm not the one?

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