Buffy: Arrive? They're coming here? Now? W-why do they have to come here?
Xander: Yeah, don't they have phones? "Allo, Buffy, here's some stuff we know, pip pip."
Buffy: Yeah! Phones. See, I'd like them on phones.
Buffy: They put me through that test, and it almost killed me. And then, when I was Faith, they almost killed me again. Honestly, I really can't handle almost being killed right now.
Willow: Does it matter? I mean, is she really gonna set the junior high school buzzing with "ooh, there's a delegation a-coming"?
Giles: You all stand around and look somber. Good job.
Travers: You used to respect us, Giles. You used to be one of us.
Giles: You used to pay me. If you recall, firing me was not my idea.
Buffy: I, uh, about, you know, killing him ... you know, they, they poisoned him and, and they beat him and they shot him, and he didn't die.
Professor: Until they rolled his body in a carpet and drowned him in a canal.
Buffy: But there are reported sightings of him as late as the 1930s, aren't there?
Professor: I can assure you there is near consensus in the academic community regarding the death of Rasputin.
Buffy: There was also near consensus about Columbus, you know, until someone asked the Vikings what they were up to in the 1400s, and they're like, "discovering this America-shaped continent."
Buffy: Spike ... why did you do that?
Spike: Not for money, if that's what you're thinking. Your heartfelt gratitude's plenty. I expect I'll be getting that any moment.
Buffy: Gratitude. For getting in my way?
Spike: Ge-getting in your way? I saved you.
Buffy: I was regrouping.
Spike: You were about to be regrouped into separate piles.
Giles: It's a power play, that's what it is. It's about who has the power.
Buffy: I'm guessing they do? Big power outage in Buffy county?
Giles: I should have set you loose on them, that's what I should have done.
Buffy: Giles, that Travers guy is like sixty. I can't hit him. Can I?
Giles: I suppose not. Well, I could. I think I will.
Anya: Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now.
Willow: Questions, great.
Tara: Well, we can answer questions.
Nigel: Good. I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you. Your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
Tara: O-o-our relationship?
Willow: We're friends.
Tara: Good friends.
Willow: Girlfriends, actually.
Tara: Yes, we're girlfriends.
Willow: We're in love. We're ... lovers. We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
Nigel: I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
Xander: Best friends. Willow and me and Buffy. The three of us have been together from the beginning. We've always gone on patrols, and uh, done demon research with her and everything.
Philip: Have you mastered any fighting disciplines over the years?
Xander: No.
Philip: So, you have no special skills, or powers, or knowledge that you bring to the mix. Neither of you.
Anya: Just enthusiasm for killing the demons. Go deadness for the demons.
Xander: I don't have any powers, but I do help.
Philip: How? Be specific.
Xander: Last year, uh, Willow, Giles and me combined our essences with Buffy, which isn't as weird as it sounds. We merged, and I was the heart part of a super-Buffy. Again, let me stress the not-as-weird thing.
Anya: I'm told it was all very professional.
Nigel: And you're registered as practicing witches under the names as you gave them to me?
Tara: R-registered?
Willow: Oh yes! Yes, of course we're-
Tara: ...r-r-registered.
Spike: So, what's with the family outing?
Buffy: I need your help.
Spike: Great. I need your cash.
Buffy: I'm serious. You have to look after them.
Spike: Well, that's a boatload of manly responsibility to come flying out of nowhere. What's the matter, Slayer? You're not feeling a hundred percent?
Buffy: No.
Spike: They didn't put a chip in your head, did they?
Buffy: No!
Spike: Be funny if they did.
Buffy: Spike, I need an answer. Now. In or out? You're the only one strong enough to protect them.
Spike: All right then. Ladies...Come on in. There's plenty of blood in the fridge.
Dawn: Do you mean like, real blood?
Spike: What do you think?
Dawn: Mostly I think "ew."
Joyce: I, I love what you've, um, neglected to do with the place.
Spike: Just don't break anything. And don't make a lot of noise. Passions is coming on.
Joyce: Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy's really dead?
Spike: Oh! No, no, she can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for god's sake.
Joyce: Uh, what about the wedding? I mean, there's no way they're gonna go through with that.
Xander: Look at them. Big tough Council members pickin' on the books.
Willow: Fascists.
Tara: Why doesn't Mr. Giles put them all out of here?
Xander: Because if they deport him, they're not just destroying his career, they're…condemning the man to a lifetime diet of blood sausage, bangers, and mash.
Buffy: You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning.
Nigel: This is beyond insolence-
Buffy: I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions.
Xander: That was excellent!
Buffy: You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the "Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal." So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...
Giles: Retroactive.
Buffy: ...to be paid retroactively from the month he was fired. I will continue my work with the help of my friends...
Buffy: We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon.
Anya: Willow's a demon?!
Philip: The boy? No power there.
Buffy: The boy has clocked more field time than all of you combined. He's part of the unit.
Willow: That's Riley-speak.
Xander: I've clocked field time.
Buffy: Just tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
Travers: Well, that's the thing, you see. Glory isn't a demon.
Buffy: What is she?
Travers: She's a god.
Buffy: Oh.
