Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Carpe Noctem  

Fred: Nothing, just taking a little stroll and...why do girls want to look like that? I spent years in a cave, starving. What's their excuse?
Cordelia: Fashion.

Cordelia: Angel's upstairs.
Fred: Oh. Probably reading, too. He's deep, you know, thoughtful. I'm guessing Brothers Karamozav, Joyce, a little Goethe to round things out -- the classics.
Angel: Am I the only one who read this?!
Wesley: Read what?
Angel: Charlton Heston double feature at the Nu Art. Soylent Green and The Omega Man.

Angel: No. You may not know this, Fred, but certain friends and co-workers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay-at-home, sulky one. I guess some people just don't know how to have fun anymore.

Cordelia: She's got the big puppy love! I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome. And brave and heroic. Mysterious ...emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil, and let's face it, a eunuch.
Angel: Hey! What -- how can you -- I'm not a eunuch!
Cordelia: Angel, it's just a figure of speech.
Angel: Find a better one!

Cordelia: Yes. Just keep it simple: one, you're not like other men; two, there's no room in the workplace for romance.
Fake Angel: Romance with Fred. So I'm a ... oh yeah, obviously.

Cordelia: I'll interview the hookers. Are there any men who aren't just dogs?

Cordelia: Let me tell you, if Julia Roberts ever makes a realistic movie about being an escort, it should be called "Pretty Skanky Woman."

Cordelia: Fred? What's wrong? What happened?
Fred: I shoulda knocked. I always forget to knock 'cause, you know, I didn't have a door for so long.

Cordelia: What? It's totally like him! Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde.
Fred: Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia: You're right -- this isn't like him.

Fred: Cordelia explained it all to me. She said you'd probably just screw it up.
Angel: Oh she did, did she ... She's probably right.

Cordelia: Angel! Willow's on the phone. She's alive. Buffy's alive!

Quotes Index  

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