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 Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Beer Bad  

Xander: Got my lighter, my rag, my empathy face.

Willow: Aren't you too young to be a bartender?
Xander: Oh contraire, mon frere.
Buffy: Mon frere means brother.
Xander: Mon girlfrere.

Willow (about Xander's fake ID): I don't believe this is entirely on the up-and-up.
Xander: What gives it away?
Willow: Looking at it.

Willow: There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis.
Xander: NOTHING CAN DEFEAT THE PENIS!

Frat Guy: Oh, no I rudely interrupted and it sounds like the two of you were having quite the meeting of minds. Possibly debating the geopolitical ramifications of bioengineering. You got a take on that?
Xander: I've got beer. You want some beer?

Willow: I'm sorry to be so coarse, but I feel strongly about stinky Parker man.

Buffy: If he were tied and gagged and left in a cave that vampires happen to frequent it wouldn't really be like I killed him, really.

Willow: Buff, have you heard of this Veruca chick? Dresses like Faith, voice like an albatross.

Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Gutter face. No! Just lots and lots of beer. It's nice. Foamy. Comforting. It's just beer.

Willow: Drowning your troubles over Parker. Mind frying man! He deserves a slow and torturous death by spiderbites. Well, for today we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class.

Buffy: Foamy.

Xander: Well, I've cut you off.
Buffy: Did it hurt?

Buffy: Want beer. Like beer. Beer good.
Xander: Beer Bad. Bad, bad beer. What the hell am I saying? Buffy, go home and go to bed.

Willow: Yes, followed by an admission of undeniable guilt, but go on.

Xander: You're a bad bad man.

Giles: I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
Xander: I didn't know it was evil.
Giles: You knew it was beer.
Xander: Well, excuse me Mr. I-Spent-the-60s-in-an-electric-kool-aid-funky-satan-groove.
Giles: It was the early 70s.

Buffy: Parker bad.

Willow: Just how gullible do you think I am?

Buffy: Buffy want beer.
Giles: You can't have beer.
Buffy: Want. Beer.
Xander: Giles, don't make caveslayer unhappy.

Buffy: Fire bad.

Xander: And was there a lesson in all of this? What have we learned about beer?
Buffy: Foamy!
Xander: Good. Just so that's clear.

Xander: This'll give them time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of being mean to me!

Parker: Do you think you could ever forgive me?
Buffy: [whack!!]


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