Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Beauty and the Beasts  

Xander: Oh! 'Call of the Wild.' Aren't we reading the Cliff Notes to this for English?
Willow: Some of us are.

Xander: Private Harris reporting for Oz watch.

Xander: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty. I mean, not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle.
Willow: Okay. Well, it's not for you. It's for me, 'cause I'm still getting used to half a Monty.
Xander: Oh. Good. Half? You and Oz? Which half?
Willow: Wouldn't you like to know?

Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.

Scott: Oh, well, we're not up to flowers. Are we? Up to flowers? Did I miss flowers?
Buffy: No. We're pre-posy. Definitely.

Giles: Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought. Poker: not your game.

Giles: How long... *exactly* did you...rest your eyes for?
Xander: A little now, uh, a little then. But I never heard Oz leave, and he was here in the morning when I, um...when I...
Giles: WOKE UP!
Xander: You could put it that way if you want to, Mr. Technical.

Buffy: Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity.

Cordelia: Oz ate someone last night.
Willow: He did not!
Xander: Oz does not eat people. It's more werewolf play. You know, I bat you around a little bit, like a cat toy. I have harmless, wolf fun. Is it Oz's fault that, you know, side effect, people get cut to ribbons, and maybe then he'll take a little nibble and...I'm not helping, am I?

Xander: We're doing crime here. You don't sneak up during crime.

Buffy: Oh, he definitely... marches to the beat of his own drummer. A-actually, I think he makes his own drums.
Scott: Well, my mom says that therapy can be completely helpful.
Pete: Yeah, but your mom has the wattage of a Zippo lighter, Scott.
Scott: I hope you realize I don't actually know these people. I just... I thought you would like me better if I had friends, so I hired them.

Oz: Time's up. Rules change.

Cordelia: He didn't? Pete was a monster? Where have I been?
Xander: In your special place, Cor, which is why I adore you.

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