Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  

Xander: Well, this is new territory for me. I mean, my valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders.

Buffy: Sorry to say, Xand, slaying is a tad more perilous than dating.
Xander: Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia.

Buffy: Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolate.
Amy: Bad breakup, huh?
Buffy: Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'.

Angelus: Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? It might make an impression.
Angelus: Lacks... poetry.
Spike: It doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?

Cordelia: Your clothes... You look so good.
Xander: Oh. I let Buffy dress me. Well, not physically.

Xander: Yeah! Okay... Do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any day besides Valentine's Day! I mean, what, were you running low on dramatic irony?

Buffy: Yeah. We can comfort each other.
Xander: Well, would lap dancing enter into that scenario at all? 'Cause I find that very comforting.
Buffy: Play your cards right...
Xander: Okay, uh... You do know that I'm Xander, right?

Giles: I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this!
Xander: Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this.

Oz: I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to... hit you.

Cordelia: Damn it, Xander, what's going on? Who died and made you Elvis?

Angelus: I guess I really did drive you crazy.

Buffy: I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.
Oz: But you're not a rat. So call it an upside.
Buffy: You think maybe you could get me some clothing?
Oz: Yes, I can. Just, uh...don't go anywhere.
Buffy: Really not an issue.

Xander: Oh, sure, they are. If it helps, whenever we're around them you and I can fight a lot.
Cordelia: You promise?

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