Laugh Lines, Love Lines

Some Assembly Required  

Angel: Is this a bad time?
Buffy: Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel.

Angel: When you first wake up it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
Buffy: It's weird to think of you going through that.
Angel: It's weird to go through.

Buffy: Nope. Why? Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.
Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
Angel: I am not jealous.
Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.

Buffy: Then if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the 'idiot' part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you.

Buffy: Yeah. You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.'
Giles: Oh, thank you, Cyrano.

Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
Xander: Y'know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Eric: Cordelia's so fine. Y'know, she'd be just perfect for us.
Chris: Don't be an idiot. She's alive.

Willow: This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place.
Xander: So, we dig up some graves tonight?
Willow: Oh, boy! A field trip! Are you gonna call Angel?
Buffy: I don't think so.
Xander: Yeah, why bother him, huh?
Buffy: Angel and I have been, um...Never mind. As far as Angel's concerned, I'm taking the night off, okay?
Xander: So, we're set then. Say, nineish? BYO shovel?
Willow: And I'll pack some food. Who else likes those little powdered doughnuts?
Xander: Me.

Willow: Love makes you do the wacky.
Buffy: That's the truth.

Xander: Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Buffy: And he broke Cordy's heart? Thus possibly proving its existence.

Angel: Cordelia told me the truth.
Xander: That's gotta be a first.

Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Xander: Karma!

Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.

Xander: How about that? I always pegged him as a one-woman vampire.

Buffy: Okay, Giles, just remember, 'I feel a thing, you feel a thing...' But personalize it.
Giles: Personalize it?
Buffy: She's a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop.

Giles: I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.

Giles: Did you just say 'date'?
Jenny: You noticed that, huh?

Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky.
Angel: What?
Buffy: Crazy stuff.
Angel: Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?
Buffy: Are you fessing up?
Angel: I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
Buffy: I don't love Xander.
Angel: Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.

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