Xander: First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?
Oz: Wasn't Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?
Xander: That's right, he was! Cheater!
Xander: Okay, and the, uh, second problem I'm having...'Come and get it, Big Boy'?
Willow: Well... W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them *frightened* because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time.
Oz: Uh, if I may suggest: 'This time it's personal.' I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic.
Xander: I've always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but...in a way, I feel like we took her punning for granted.
Willow: Oh, I'm gonna be busy a lot. But, but only till 3:00, and that's when you usually get up.
Xander: I can't wait to see Cordelia. I can't believe I can't wait to see Cordelia.
Willow: I wonder what our first homework assignment's gonna be. Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues.
Buffy: How did you find me here?
Angel: If I was blind, I would see you.
Buffy: Stay with me.
Angel: Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.
Buffy: We've got a peach pie. I can't guarantee there's a peach in it.
Willow: No, he got away. We still have some glitches in the system, like... vampires getting away. But I think we're improving.
Giles: For God's sake be careful. I mean, uh, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but, uh... Well, if anything should happen to you and... you should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss.
Willow: You'd be cranky?
Giles: Entirely.
Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed.'
Cordelia: He didn't meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who's he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff? But then again he's always been attracted to monsters.
Oz: Well, it's sort of a funny story. You remember when I didn't graduate?
Willow: Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that's what summer school was for.
Oz:Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn't go?
Larry: If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna *rule*!
Willow: I'm trying to get to cute, really. But I'm still sorta stuck on 'strange'.
Oz: Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to 'eccentric' with an option on 'cool'.
Xander: And what makes this different from the last nine leads?
Giles: Well, there's a meal on this flight.
Xander: Look, I don't mean to poop the party here, it's just, you get your hopes all up, and then it's just a big fat raspberry, and I feel bad.
Oz: I don't know. I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down.
Xander: We're losing half the vamps.
Oz: Yeah, but... rhythmically.
Buffy: This'll probably go faster if we split up.
Lily: Can I come with you?
Buffy: Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?
Nurse: What are you doing?
Buffy: Breaking into your office and going through your private files.
Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. Instead, I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share.
Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.
Cordelia: What's the plan?
Xander: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what?
Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.
Buffy: You know, I just... I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm... I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad with the... sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W...Oh, I just suck at undercover.
Buffy: I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are...?
Ken: That... was not... permitted.
Buffy: Yeah, but it was fun.
Buffy: Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi?
Lily: Gandhi?
Buffy: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off.
Laugh Lines, Love Lines is a rusted-crush.com production. This completely unofficial, fan-run website is a display of admiration, and we gratefully acknowledge the sources that have helped make this site and this layout possible. No infringement of any kind is intended. Got questions? Check the F.A.Q for F.G.A (Frequently Given Answers).