Austin Powers 101
Movie 1: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997). The dastardly doings of Dr. Evil lead to his escape into outer space and the cryogenic freezing of superagent Austin Powers. Thirty years later Dr. Evil returns to earth to bring about terror and mass destruction but finds his ideas and methods a bit out of date. So too does our hero who upon being thawed out, finds he's a bit behind the times as well. Well meaning and bumbling efforts to thwart the insidious Dr. Evil keep Austin and his devastatingly beautiful partner Vanessa busy from London to Las Vegas. Freedom in the '90s, baby! A hilarious send up of James Bond spy films and 1960's schtick.

Movie 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999). Dr. Evil uses a device he calls a "Time Machine" to travel back to 1969 and remove Austin Powers' mojo. Austin must travel back in time and, with the help of agent Felicity Shagwell, recover his vitality. Meanwhile, Dr. Evil's personal life runs amok as he discovers love, continues to shun his son and develops a close relationship with himself. Well, actually, a clone 1/8 his size whom he dubs "Mini-Me". The always time-baffled Dr. Evil begins his plan to put a gigantic cannon on the moon, thus turning it into a device called either "The Death Star" or "Alan Parson's Project," depending on which name is available.

Movie 3: Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002). Dr. Evil and Mini-Me have somehow escaped from a maximum security prison and the duo team up with Goldmember. Together they formulate a plan for world domination. And this particular scheme requires a large amount of time-travel, and kidnapping Austin Powers' father, England's master spy, Nigel Powers. As Austin chases Dr. Evil, Mini-Me and Goldmember through time, he stops in 1975 to "connect" with an old girlfriend, detective Foxxy Cleopatra, and requests her help to track the villains and save his father.

Why am I an Austin Powers fan?
What else can I say? He is just so silly and so over-the-top that I can't help liking him.

Austin: Allow myself to introduce... myself.

Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!
Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?
Basil Exposition: Austin... we won.
Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties. You know, a lot's changed since 1967.
Austin Powers: No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?

Austin Powers: This is my happening and it freaks me out!

"It's Doctor Evil actually. I didn't spend four years at Evil Medical School to be called Mister Evil thank you very much."

Austin: There you are!
Las Vegas Tourist: Do I know you?
Austin: No, but that's where you are, you're there!

Dr. Evil: When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die!

Dr. Evil: As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
Scott: Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a dope?

Austin: How could you sleep with Fat Bastard?
Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my duty, Austin. I had to.
Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.

Scott: Why'd you run out on me?
Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough. ... Well it's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.

Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.

Ivana: You are hairy, like animal!
Austin: Grr, baby. VERY grr!

Austin (with hurt feelings after Felicity's comments about his lost mojo): Ouch, Baby. Very ouch.

Dr. Evil: Mini Me, if I ever lost you I don't know what I would do. ... I'd probably move on, get another clone but there would be a 15 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.

Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.

* They can't all be James Bond.
* Choose your words carefully when you have no inner monologue.
* There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster.
* Do not appear on the Jerry Springer show with your evil father. In fact, do not be on the Jerry Springer show period.
* There are worse things than being deemed "not evil enough."
* You know what's remarkable? Is how much England looks in no way like Southern California.
* Really, no one can take your mojo.
* It's important not to focus on other people's physical imperfections.
* Chocolate can be like catnip for really tiny clones.
* Your teenaged son just asked for ice cream? Are you sure that's what he said?
* Nobody try anything stupid or the shooting begins.
* The Internet can access vital information, like funny videos of monkeys.
* Sometimes what we "vant" just isn't in the cards.

I like the scene where Scott is trying to say something, and Dr. Evil keeps interrupting him with "Sh!" Dr. Evil even resorts to a knock-knock joke ("Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Sh!") before he finally tells Scott, "I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it."

I also like the scene where Austin Powers is collecting his things after waking up from being frozen. One of the items is quite embarrassing, and Austin denies that it's his. The clerk produces a receipt signed by Austin for the item. Against, Austin sheepishly denies it, saying that sort of thing is "not my bag, baby." Without missing a beat, the clerk produces a book about the thing being "my bag" by Austin Powers.

The scene where Dr. Evil grandly demands (pause for dramatic effect) "One. Million. Dollars." only to be told that that's really not all that much money now is a classic.